I hate hormones. Really. I detest them. And now that I'm getting older, I'm feeling more like a teen again. You know that age when the hormones kick in and you have horrible mood swings, and you feel like you can't do anything right, and you go from crazy angry to crying jags that last for hours? The kinds of hormones that convince you that something that was said in jest was really said to hurt your feelings? Yeah. Those kind of hormones.
I hate that raging hormones like this make me feel like I've lost total control over my life. I hate that they make me doubt myself and hate myself. I hate that they make me cry. I rarely cry. I hate that they make me feel so vulnerable and exposed. I hate that they make me doubt others and their feelings toward me.
I cannot wait for this decade of my life to be finished. At least this part of it! The rest of it can go slowly. The hormones have my permission to high tail it out of here and NOW!
So. I'm feeling a little better today. Went to the newlyweds' house and finished putting the red gingham shelf paper in the upper cabinets. I'll do the drawers tomorrow, and they get to do the bottom cabinets. My back can't handle getting down that low. Actually, I can get down that low, but I can't guarantee getting back up again.
In the famous words of Scarlett O'Hara...
"Tomorrow is another day."
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.