I've been trying to work on the insurance claim paperwork today. It's daunting, let me tell you! Not only do I have to try to remember where we bought each item, but how much we paid for it, and if we paid by cash, credit card, or check. And when I'm fairly certain of those things, I have to try to find how much it would cost to replace each item. I have to list each item separately and not lump them together. So I can't have one category that says 'toys'. I have to list individual toys.
Which I suppose would be okay, if I could concentrate. I woke up this morning with a knot in the back of my throat. If the girls weren't sick and had gone to school, I'd have probably gone back to bed and slept the day away. I am beat. I did try to doze in the recliner for a few minutes, but my 19 year old snooze alarm was working overtime. I'd get to doze for maybe 3.5 minutes before hearing, "Mom?" "Mom." "Mom?" "Mom!"
Unfortunately, once I was totally awake after my failed attempt at a nap, I heard the same "Mom." ("Huh?") "Mom!" ("What?") "Mom?" ("Yes?") "Mom." ("Hmmm?") "MOM!" ("What? What do you want?") every 2.3 minutes while trying to work on the insurance paperwork.
It's not her fault. It's like her brain has a skip in it like an old LP. Like it hiccups when trying to remember what she wants to say, and nothing that I say can help her get out of the hiccup. I think it's a combination of a few different speech issues. She has a combination of echolalia, (She often repeats the last word or two that someone says, and she adds a question mark. This happens quite often, if she hears her dad say a cuss word. It both frustrates and tickles him that of course those are the particular words she picks up), apraxia (I think of this as dyslexia of the speech. She turns words inside out. I did this when I was little with one word in particular. I couldn't say "shampoo" to save my life. I said, "Hampshoo" instead), and I think that the "Mom. Mom. MOM? MOM!" is considered palilalia, but I'm not 100% sure. I do know that it's involuntary when it goes on and on, and she's not just asking me a question. It gets worse when she's PMSing, sick or tired.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about her. Knowing what's going on doesn't change how we feel about her. It just helps us understand a little bit better and hopefully be more patient. And while I'm a little frustrated at not being able to get much of anything done today, it isn't her fault. It's my fault for having procrastinated for so long. I will get it done and submitted before the deadline. We need the money. And I would SO miss the Mom! Mom? Mom. MOM!'s if they weren't here!
I'm merely explaining how today went. :)
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.