Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.

You can read the start of my journey here.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Changes.

Over the course of the last few months, I've had several comments that people can sense a change in how I'm doing with everything based on my writing. I'm not sure exactly what it is they see, but I find it interesting. I can tell I've changed through this process, but I wasn't exactly sure I could put my finger on how or why, so I've been thinking about it for a few weeks.

When I first began my journey, I would blush from embarrassment even acknowledging we were in this situation. It's not an easy thing to own up to. I was mortified. I mean this was humiliating! I was afraid of telling anyone, although I did trust a few close friends and family members, because I knew I needed the accountability. I was afraid that, if I kept it to myself I would fall into old patterns.

I think maybe I was trying to convince myself, fairly regularly I might add, that we would actually be able to get through things. It was just such an overwhelming task that lay ahead, and I needed a pep talk from time to time even, if I had to give it to myself. The future loomed, and it was scary. Could we even get it done? Would we?

I find I no longer need to give myself pep talks like I used to. I still need one from time to time, so I can finish a goal I've set for a certain time frame, but not for the overall task. I've made enough progress that today I feel confident that we will indeed accomplish what we set out to do. I have a peace that one day we will have an organized and dehoarded house.

I no longer just hope that it will happen. I have a confidence that it will. A confidence that stems from the successes we've already had.

It's no longer going to happen. It is happening.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you stopped by my blog and I'm so happy to have discovered your own blog. I have not read through your whole blog (but I will) but I'm certain you will reach your goals as well. It IS happening. Hang on to that and go one day at a time.

    From now on, I'll be here routing and cheering you on.

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  2. Go YOU! Blogging is the cheapest thrapy on the web! And, isn't that why most of us started blogging, to change or discover something new about ourselves? Enjoy the support you get from all of the invisible friends you have in the blog-o-sphere. And, again...GO YOU! -J

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  3. YAy for you ! sometimes getting it out in the open , however much you fear it is exactly what we need

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  4. Thanks so much for your kind words, Foil. :)

    It really does help, doesn't it, Julianna?!

    I agree completely, Fern!

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