The main reason I post daily on my blog is to keep my mind on the dehoarding and make sure I don't forget what I need to do, but I don't think I'll ever forget. At this point, it's in my blood. It's in every single glance around this house.
And today, it's settled into every single nerve ending. Because in spite of the fact that I know that we have accomplished so very much, I can't even begin to understand how I'll be able to get the rest of it finished.
Most days, I have my nerves under control. I have a slight idea what the next 10 steps will be for me.
Today? I can only see what I have left to do.
Tomorrow is the appraisal.
And today, all I can see is what is left to be done. And I've been a bundle of nerves as a result. My arms have literally been tingling most of the day.
It didn't help that I had to go in for an unexpected doctor's visit once again today, because of yet another potential complication from the surgery I had at the beginning of August. It appears that everything is okay, and it's not a complication, but it just added to the stress level today.
Plus the school called right before I got in the shower to get ready for my appointment. Scooter wasn't feeling well and needed to be picked up. And while I'm thankful she was able to be home and not suffering at school, I hurt for my kids when they're not feeling well. It definitely throws me off my game.
So I'm going to go to bed. Hopefully, a good night's sleep will be just what I need, and I'll be prepared to face the day tomorrow. I still haven't decided whether I'm going to confront my uneasiness and anxiety about the appraiser coming over tomorrow by staying home, or if I'm going to allow myself a break and leave the house.
I guess it depends on what sort of sleep I get tonight.
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.