Nine years ago, I had just gotten the girls on the bus for school when I sat down to watch the morning news. I sat there dumbfounded watching the screen and trying to make sense out of what I was seeing. The first plane had gone into the Towers, but there was still confusion over what had happened. Nobody really knew just yet.
I called my sister, because she used to be a stock broker. She knew several of the people in the Salomon Smith Barney office. I didn't know, if she had heard, and I needed someone to talk to. She quickly turned her television on, and we watched in quiet horror as the second plane hit. We wondered what was happening to our country and what would come of our nation when we saw the devastation at the Pentagon. We were were sat in stunned silence when we heard about United Flight 93 going down in the Pennsylvania field and how valiantly our American brothers and sisters fought to save others.
Time stood still while terror gripped our hearts wondering where it would strike next. I remember feeling like a zombie for several days. I remember I never cried and thinking it was strange that I didn't cry, but I was just...numb. I've cried many times since then, but I think it was a coping mechanism at the time. I needed to be strong for my kids, so they wouldn't see exactly how scared I really was. And I think I was afraid, if I started crying I might not stop.
Nine years later, and my heart still hurts.
Shortly after the attacks on our beautiful USA, Alan Jackson wrote and released "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning).
It's still such a fitting tribute.
It helps me remember.
May we never forget.
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.