When I was working in the closet yesterday, I came across a pair of shoes that I no longer wear. I got them at a shoe store several years ago after having my gait tested on a treadmill. They were so comfortable, and I could walk in them for hours without getting a back ache.
I vaguely remembered something being wrong with them, but for whatever reason I hung onto them when I went through our bedroom and the big purge a year ago. I must have felt they were irreplaceable. I do know I'd wanted to get another pair, but I don't recall whether or not I looked to see, if anything was available last year or not. So after I tried them on and realized what was wrong with them, (the air pocket in the right shoe had deflated), I checked to see, if I could find the identical pair online.
I found several pairs in different colors. I'm just wasn't sure they'd fit the same way this pair did, and I wasn't willing to take the chance and spend the money not knowing for sure. I took the shoestrings out for the girls and gave them each one. Then I took the shoes and tossed them in the bottom of the big black trash bag that goes out tomorrow.
Scooter was bummed that I threw them. She wanted to play with them. She has a habit of taking every pair of slippers or shoes I'm not wearing at the time and piling them up beside her or walking around in them, and she wanted these shoes. Thus, the bottom of the trash bag. Good thing I had a shoestring to offer as a consolation prize.
Even though it's likely to be a glaringly obvious thing to others, it didn't dawn on me until today that I could just go get another gait test at the shoe store. When the time is right, I'll pack myself up in car, get myself on the treadmill at the store, and get myself a new pair of shoes. They don't have to be the same brand. They don't have to be the same style. They just have to be the right ones for my gait, and they'll be able to help me at that store.
So the shoes no longer live in my closet. I think I was hanging onto them, so I wouldn't forget that experience I had when I had my gait tested the first time. It was such a neat experience. I could never seem to pick out a pair of shoes that felt right until then, and it was life changing. It allowed me to get out and walk trails that I normally couldn't walk. I was active and healthy and happy. I want that again, but I don't need the shoes to remind me.
I will remember. When the time is right, I. will. remember.
I'm slowly but surely remembering that I don't need to use objects to remember important things, and it's helping me to slowly but surely get rid of stuff.
Relentless forward progress and all.
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.