500

That's the number of posts I've published on my blog so far. In many ways I wish that I'd have been able to keep up with daily posting. I'd be close to 1000 posts right now, if I had, and that would have been sort of cool. That being said, I want this to be a place for me to unwind and decompress, and pressuring myself to keep up with daily posts is not conducive to decompression. 

So 500 it is.

At the same time that I want this to be a place to decompress, I don't want it to just be about kvetching about my life. My mama taught me that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all. I think there can be a happy medium, though, so I'll probably be back here complaining from time to time.

It is what it is, and I am who I am.

So I figured something out the other day. One of the amino acids I'm taking to help with the neuropathy sort of counteracts my thyroid medicine. I don't know why I didn't see that when I researched the amino acid. I don't know, if the information just wasn't there, or if I overlooked it at the time, or what. What I do know is that I've been absolutely dragging the last few months. I've had no energy, and that's a major symptom of hypothyroidism. 

I've been taking the amino acid for over a year now, and I hadn't noticed a difference in the effectiveness of my thyroid medicine until somewhat recently. I don't know, if it's because it took awhile for the effectiveness to be altered, or what. Unfortunately, my neuropathy has been out of control lately, so giving up the amino acid isn't an option, and in fact I'm needing to double up on it and take it twice a day. It's the only thing I can take that makes any difference in the pain level. I'd love it, if the prescription nerve meds worked for me, but they don't. If I take them, I sleep for days, and that just isn't an option. So I've made an appointment with my doctor to discuss it all in the next couple of weeks. 

In the meantime, I'm hoping we'll all be feeling well enough soon, (This hit and miss stuff that always happens once school starts for the year is so frustrating!), so we can finally officially celebrate the 4 birthdays that have happened since the end of June. 

We're also hoping to get a bunch of yardwork done and get rid of a bunch of elm trees in the backyard that have once again grown into a jungle back there. We'll take down our apple tree when we're back there, too. A windstorm took about half the tree a couple of years ago, and another wind took half of what was left back there a couple of weeks ago, so it has to go before it falls on the house. And then there's the scraggly little peach tree in the corner of the yard that has been slowly dying over the last few years but is tall enough it's in the middle of the power lines. 

Once we're done getting the trees down, we're hoping to toss some grass seed down and cover it with straw to help it stay alive over the winter. If it survives, we'll just rake up the straw in the Spring and have an actual lawn instead of the dirt pile we have back there now. We'll also be chipping the trees with a professional chipper and we're hoping the wood chips put down between the fences will prevent future saplings from taking root. We so need to get the trees out of there, so we can lower our fire risk. After all the wildfires we've had in Colorado this year, we don't need to add to the problem.

And to end this on a good note...I spoke with the attorney today, since we still haven't gotten our paperwork in the mail showing that we are officially the girls' guardians. He said that he mailed them yesterday or the day before, and we should be getting them any day now. 

We can hope.

It's a jungle out there.

I am a little surprised that I feel the way I do tonight. Maybe it's a bit of emotional and physical fatigue. I just thought that finally getting through the guardianship process would have had a bigger impact on my state of well-being. 

We met with the judge on Tuesday and finalized guardianship. It is such a huge relief to have it all done, but I also can't help but wonder, if the relief is why I'm so exhausted. I'm. just. Tired. Really, really tired. 

The judge was very sweet. The whole process took about an hour. We will get the official documents in the mail next week sometime. Once we get it, we'll have to get copies to the doctors' offices, day programs, school, etc., and keep a copy on hand to bring to the hospitals, should the girls ever need to be treated there again. 

The day itself was a bit stressful, though. Hopper started getting anxious when we kept having to drive around the block to find a parking spot close enough for Scooter, since walking long distances is a bit rough for her. We were hoping she'd settle down once we found a place to park, but no such luck. It only got worse.

I'm assuming all courthouses have security similar to the one here in town, but I don't know for sure, and you know what they say about assuming. It wasn't as rough having the TSA  get us through security, but I think Hopper thought it might end up in a strip search. 

OK. I'm exaggerating a little. She doesn't even know that happens, and I'm SO thankful she doesn't! She'd have really freaked out!!

The way it was, we had to empty our pockets and put the contents in a bin that went on a conveyor belt and through an x-ray machine. She did fine with that part, but when the metal detector beeped because of the underwire in her bra, she sort of flipped out. She was afraid to go back through it again and started getting worked up, sporadically yelling, "no!"

The water works started and the "NO!!'s" got a lot louder when the uniformed policeman had to use the wand to make sure she wasn't carrying any weapons. She was having a huge panic attack, and he was very sympathetic, but he was struggling with getting her to stand still long enough to pass the wand down her back and then her front. After multiple attempts, he was finally satisfied that she was not a threat and continued on with checking the rest of us. 

The only thing we can think of is that poor Hopper thought that once he was done he was going to frisk her. And we all know what comes after the frisking...

handcuffs! I wish we'd have though of explaining that part of it before we went in, but both Hubster and I were nervous enough about the whole thing that we didn't even think of it. 

I've been absolutely exhausted since Tuesday. I think it's just relief that this enormous monkey is off our backs at this point. 

I think the headache I have is from him holding tightly to my hair as he jumped off into the jungle.

Stupid monkey.

 

Laundry, hooks and court dates. Oh my!

Today was a good day. It feels good to be doing something again. It's like the fog has lifted in my brain, and I'm back to working on dehoarding and being productive once more. 


I was able to get 6 loads of laundry done today, and I got one more thing crossed off the list I made the other day. I hung up a set of hooks in the workout room in order to hang the packs Hubster uses when he runs. I can't believe how much better it looks, and it feel so good to know they have a permanent home, and we'll be able to find them when we need them. We may hang another set tomorrow, so he can hang some of his running clothes when he gets home from a run. It will be nice to have an actual place for them, too.


I am happy to announce that the spam filter is working once again on my blog. Hopefully, it will continue working, and I won't have to put the word verification back on anytime soon. 


And the best news of all? The attorney called, and we finally have a court date for mid-May to finalize guardianship for the girls. 


It will be so nice to be done once and for all.

#)(@%*#)(*%Q#^%

Last Friday, I called the attorney's office to see, if we had a court date yet for the guardianship thing.


Around 6 tonight, the phone rang. It was him.


"I know you called a couple of days ago." (Um. No. It was a WEEK ago!) "Sorry I'm just getting back with you."


"I've got a note here saying that the court visitor sent her reports for both of the girls, but I can't find them anywhere. I tried calling her twice. The one time, it said that her phone number had been disconnected. The second time, I got a recording saying that the phone number was no longer in service."


"Did you get copies of the reports?"


"Yes. Why?"


"Well, I don't know, if she didn't actually send the reports, (Um. Yes! She DID! I could tell just by the way she handled the situation with the girls! She knew how important this was to us, and she purposely got her report filed well before the deadline, so we could be done with all of it as quickly as possible!), or if I just misplaced them. I'm moving my office at the end of the month, so things are sort of crazy on my desk."


"Can you get me copies of your reports for each of the girls? You can fax them, email them, or drop them off at the office."


"You won't get to them until Monday, anyway, right?"


"Right."


"Ok. We'll get them to you."


I was SO mad when I hung up the phone!! He has likely had the reports since we've had our copies. We've had our copies for right at 4 weeks! And he is just NOW trying to rectify the situation? He's just NOW noticing that we are his clients? At this rate, I highly doubt we'll get our court date until April or May, since he's screwed around and wasted our time for a full month.


It wouldn't be so bad, but when he let us know who the court reporter was, he said we needed to make sure we got copies of all the information that we'd brought in for him to the court visitor. When she got here, I apologized for not having it ready. She seemed taken aback. She said that our attorney should have already gotten that information to the court, and that she should be able to access it there.


So we're paying him, and he's having us do the work we're paying him to do!! 


I'm sure that he's doing this, because we have legal insurance through Hubster's work, and the insurance company is paying him. I don't know, if he doesn't think it's enough money, or what his problem is.


We can't leave him and go to another attorney at this point, because we've already signed a contract with him. I'm sure that he would try to collect a $2000 retainer plus $250 an hour for the work he's done, and I wouldn't doubt that he'd lie about the hours he's put into the case. 


!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#


As soon as the court case is finished, and we have the paperwork in hand showing that we have legal guardianship of the girls, we will be reporting him to the insurance company, and we will not be recommending him to anyone for anything. 


Stupid !@#$%^!!!

Stop the ride. I want to get off.

I've been trying to get a post done for the last couple of days, but I'm struggling with my concentration. I just keep getting distracted. It's so frustrating. So instead of trying to force myself to think in a way that I can't right now, I thought I'd go in a different direction.

We got the reports from the court visitor in the mail yesterday. They are the ones she filed with the courts. She did a good job of representing the girls and made it very clear she felt like we should be awarded guardianship. It helped take the pressure off a bit. It feels like we can breathe a little better now.


We expect the attorney will be calling in the next week or two with a court date. We feel fairly ready. Hopper and Scooter did so well when the court visitor came out that we're hoping they'll do as well when we visit the judge. 


In spite of feeling confident that everything is going to go smoothly for the guardianship, my stomach still flips when I think about it. Once again, I am very thankful for anxiety meds. 


I just hope the anxiety takes a leave once all the legal stuff is finished. 


My stomach is ready to get off the merry-go-round.

Nothing but net.

The visit with the court visitor went better than we could have ever expected. It felt like we'd known her forever, and she loved the girls.

We were very honest with her. We explained that we are recovering hoarders who are still working on dehoarding the house. She said that she didn't consider our house to be a hoarded home. That it was nothing compared to other people's homes she's been in where there were hoarding problems. I did tell her that we'd gotten rid of probably more than half of what we need to, so it's a huge improvement. Still. It made us feel good to know that we have come as far as we have, and it makes the final goal feel totally attainable at some point. 

I was still stressed today before she got here. Hubster was, too. The tension was thick in the air, and it caused all of us to snap at one another a bit. I think that's a normal and natural reaction to stress, albeit a frustrating one. The stress dissipated much like a fog beginning to lift the longer the we spoke with the court visitor By the time she left, all of us were quite relieved and things were back to normal. 

She said that this is a very simple case, and once she gets her report submitted our attorney will be able to get a court date for us. She said we could expect it to be as late as March, because the dockets are so full right now. But at least we feel like we can breathe. In fact, I am relaxed enough I can't seem to keep my eyes open.


It's off to bed for me.


If I can wake up enough to get in there, that is...

As The Stomach Turns

My stomach is once again riding the anxiety merry-go-round after having made a safe dismount recently.


Got the call a bit ago that the court visitor will be out tomorrow afternoon.


I feel like I haven't been able to breathe since I spoke with her. She was very nice, and she tried to reassure me, when I told her of the anxiety since we started the proceedings. She asked me why we were so stressed. I told her that even though we know that the chance of something going wrong is .00000001%, that the mere thought of that .00000001% going wrong is enough to stress out parents who absolutely adore their children. That we have every intention of keeping them with us for as long as we're capable of taking care of them and the thought of not being able to is very stressful.


She told me not to worry. She's been doing this for years, and cases like ours are considered a 'slam dunk'. And while my head is so incredibly relieved to hear that, my heart and my gut are churning. 


Ugh.


Well...I'm off to get something done before her visit tomorrow.

Not much to report.

The anxiety meds are doing their job, and I'm feeling much less anxious and better able to cope with all that's going on.


However, we've been sick with the crud, which has kept my progress at, well, under ideal. I'm not sure, if this is the flu or not. We've been totally exhausted. Absolutely no energy at all makes it more than difficult to accomplish a single thing. We haven't had high fevers, but we have been feverish. Then again, we didn't get high fevers when we had the swine flu a couple years ago, either. :::shrug::: It's enough that we're miserable. I guess we don't need a name for it. 


::::cough:::: 


::::cough::::

::::sniffle:::: 


::::sneeze::::


To top things off, my extended family has been going through an awfully lot lately, and my heart hurts for all of them.


In the last 6 weeks or so a sister in law lost both her parents, a niece lost a pregnancy, 2 different cousins lost their husbands, and a brother in law lost his brother. And while none of it directly affected me, thoughts for my loved ones weigh heavy.


We've been a bit nervous for Bugster. She quit her job a few weeks ago, because her paychecks were bouncing. Job + bouncing payroll checks is not a good combination. One employee was behind 4 paychecks. Another was behind 6. I just can't imagine working for 8 and 12 weeks without pay. Bugster stayed longer and more loyal than either Hubster or I would have, but she's just can't stand the thought of someone else being put in a bind. We're glad she's out of there, but we can't help but worry for the kids a bit. It's a parent's job, right?


I did get back in touch with a friend I'd lost touch with about 8 years ago. It was wonderful getting caught up, but she's had it really rough. Just a lot of family problems in that period of time, including losing her fiance just weeks before their wedding. My friend doesn't have computer skills and is totally intimidated by them, so she took his daughter's word for it that her fiance had died out of state. Except that he hadn't. He's alive.


I would want to know under the same circumstances. And I would want a friend to tell me, rather than finding out from someone else, so I felt like I had to say something. It was one of the most difficult calls I've ever had to make, and I hope I never had to break news like that again. As hard as it was to hear, my friend was thankful I cared enough to tell her. I just hope she heals quickly. 


I debated long and hard before telling her. I polled a few friends and family about whether or not they would want to know. Everyone I asked said they would want to know, if they were in her shoes, but some would not have told her to spare her feelings. How about you? Would you have wanted to know?


On a different note I've made a little bit of progress. I've finally frozen all but the last cookie sheet of tomatoes. I'm just waiting for them to ripen, although I may try my hand at fried green tomatoes. I haven't had the energy to try them just yet. At this point, they'll just be fried green tomato chips, since the tomatoes that are left are just tiny. Still. They'd probably be good along with some fried zucchini as a snack or on spaghetti. 


No word yet on the guardianship front. I'll be calling the attorney this week to see where we are in the process. 


And once again I'm so very thankful for the anxiety meds, since just writing the above sentence made my stomach start with the flips again. 


Have I mentioned we're ready for 2012 to make its entrance?

Immobilization. It's not as fun as it sounds.

What I didn't mention in my last post from a couple of weeks ago is that I've really been struggling lately. I said that we had a really long and stressful day getting state IDs and flu shot and all the week before and made 7 pints of salsa. And I mentioned that I was still getting things done.

However, my effectiveness as a person slowed to almost a complete halt during the days after that outing. Dehoarding stopped. Most house work and laundry came to a screeching halt. Yep. I have been pretty worthless.

The night before we spent the day getting the documentation for the girls that was needed my stomach started churning. Flipping. Rolling, if you will. Nonstop. Like I had a hamster on a wheel in the pit of my gut. It didn't stop at all for over 2 weeks.

You know how your stomach jumps when you see a baby almost fall headfirst down the stairs? Or you see a ball roll out in front of you in the street while you're driving, and you notice a small child in your periphery? Or you witness an accident caused by an erratic driver? 

Yeah. That kind of flipping.

When my stomach did finally stop flipping it was short lived. As in about 18 hours or so. And then it started up again. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. Even when I was expecting a call, I'd nearly jump out of my skin when the phone actually rang. I felt like I was trembling all the time, but when I would hold my hand up to check to see, if it was shaking, it wasn't. I was just shaking on the inside. 

I made an appointment to see my doctor, but I had to cancel the first one due to bad roads. The last thing I needed to do is get in a car and drive on ice in the condition I was in. I knew I needed help, and that I was having a problem with anxiety. I also knew that I didn't know how to make it stop on my own. That I needed help. Because when your stomach is flipping and turning all the time like that, it's hard to concentrate. To eat. To sleep. To function.

The doctor confirmed that I was suffering from anxiety. The only other time I've had anything even close to this happen was when I had a reaction to a medication a few years ago. I have to wonder, if that reaction made my body more susceptible to anxiety. I guess it doesn't matter. I have it now. 

We met with the attorney on Monday. Plunked down the $500 for the court costs, but we won't actually have to pay the attorney's fees. Hubster signed up for some sort of legal plan through the company he works for last year, and it pays the attorney. And although we could technically do this on our own, we'd much rather have the expertise a lawyer can lend to the situation. I shudder at the thought of what the anxiety would be like, if we weren't going through an attorney!

I have no doubt that the stress is due to the whole guardianship thing, and I believe it will go away once everything is completed. I am thinking I'll likely start 2012 in a totally different state than I'm in right now, but until then I'll stay on the meds the doctor prescribed. They've already helped tremendously, and it's been less than a week.

Thursday, Bugster came over, and we made salsa together. Once we tasted the salsa I'd made awhile back, we realized that it wasn't going to be enough to get us all through the winter. So we made a day of it and canned 14 pints and 1 quart, since we couldn't find the last of the pint jars. We're set until next Fall when we'll likely make more from the tomatoes, peppers and onions we'll hopefully have in our gardens. 

I'm still behind on housework, but I know I'll be able to get it done in plenty of time for the home visit. I won't have all the dehoarding done, but I'm confident that we'll pass with flying colors. I'm sure we'll be granted guardianship, because the best place for the girls to be is with us. In their own home. With their family. And when I look at each part of the guardianship process individually, I know we'll do fine. But the whole of it is more than overwhelming.

Hubster asked me out on a date the other night. We need time to reconnect and get away from the stress of it all, so I jumped at the chance. Hopper and Scooter are going to spend the day with Bugster, Hubster and Frank after we all do a little shopping together.  We haven't all been out together in months. In fact, Scooter just started back to school this past week after the whole fiasco of the hospitalization, head-to-toe rash, and weeks of steroids to get the allergic reaction under control. So we need this as a family. All of us.

I'm ready for some decompression. 

And let the stress begin...

After countless hours of sorting paperwork and getting rid of more than 40, (I really should have counted them), boxes I finally found the birth certificates I've been searching for weeks to find. I only have 2 or 3 boxes left to sort through that have come in from the garage. Granted, I'll have to re-sort some of the stuff I've set aside to scan or to keep, but it's mountains less than I had a few weeks ago. I can handle it.

I also still have all the paperwork that was already in the study before we started bringing boxes in from the garage to sort. Thankfully, there are only about 7 boxes or so. There is a chance that I will actually be able to get through the rest of the paperwork by the end of October. That would be huge. But, I have other things happening, so I won't be disappointed, if I don't finish it all up by then. I know I will be done with the paperwork and have the study completely cleared out by Thanksgiving. 

Again. Huge.

In the meantime, we will be putting the social security card found earlier and the birth certificates to use and start the process of getting guardianship of the girls. 

That's right.

Guardianship.

Apparently after a child with a developmental disability has finished with high school, their parents are no longer in charge of their medical, financial, or other such life-changing decisions. They're treated like any other adult. They have the right to refuse medical treatment. They have the right to spend their money as they see fit, so if they want to do nothing but buy cookies and nothing else, they have that right. 

So this summer when Hopper broke her leg, if she had not still been in school, we could not have signed for her to have surgery. If she had not consented to it, the doctors would refuse to treat until they had the court's okay to treat. The delay that getting a court order could take could mean the difference between life and death. And we get that. We will never allow either of the girls to go through something so horrible.

However, it still somehow feels wrong that a parent has to get guardianship to be able to make the same decisions for their disabled children that they've made since they brought them home from the hospital as babies. It's a bit of a slap in the face. It feels as though your parenthood is somehow being siphoned away, and you will now just be called, 'guardian'.

Thankfully, it's just a legal term. 

We will always be the girls' mommy and daddy.

And nobody can ever take that away, no matter how hard they might try.

So for the next couple of months while we go through getting permanent guardianship of our own children, the stress level is going to go up. It will involve attorneys and court visits and home visits and . . . 

Yeah.

So let the stress begin. 

We're ready. 

Er. 

Almost.

It's official. I think.

Today I decided to give my back a break from standing on the concrete that is the floor of the patio. I might give my back a break tomorrow, too, since it's supposed to be in the high 90s. The rest of the week is supposed to be a lot cooler, so I'll probably head out to finish things up then.

In the meantime, I did get both Hopper and Scooter's hair cut today. At least for the most part. I know that over the next few days, I'll see a strand or two of hair I've missed, or I'll see where I need to do a little touch up. It's always been this way whether I cut their hair, or somebody else does it. The biggest part of it is out of the way. The rest is easy.

I do take the girls in every once in awhile to get their hair cut, but I like the way it turns out when I cut their hair. I know how it lays. I know that I have to undercut it in the back more deeply than a stylist does, or it doesn't lay right. I can give them a break and let them move around a little more freely than a stylist can, if need be. Plus, I can use the television to keep their attention.

The main reason I decided to cut their hair today, is because I had to do more than trim it. Haircuts can be stressful at times. Especially for Hopper. And where she's had a problem with her anxiety and meltdowns a lot over the last couple months, I was afraid she might melt when she saw I was cutting 5 to 6 inches off. She's really struggled with that sort of thing in the past, so I just wasn't sure. Instead, both girls were thrilled with their new hairdos, and I was happy they were done.

Best thing of all today? Bugster, Bubster and Frank (doesn't that sound like the beginning of a really bad joke?) got great news today. The boys' dad some money for child support, a notarized power of attorney and something (also notarized) granting Bubster and Bugster temporary legal guardianship of Frank. It's good for a year. We're not sure, but we think this means the kids are officially Frank's legal guardians as of this moment.

However, we're not positive. There is a chance that Calamity will have to sign as well, and that doesn't look too promising. She's drinking again, and that's never, ever a good situation. I think Bugster will find out tomorrow when she takes the paperwork to the school to get Frank registered, if they have everything they need, or if they're going to need Calamity's signature. I think we'll all sort of be holding our collective breath until she finds out.

I, for one, am looking forward to breathing again.

Cool cats

I think I'm almost as excited as the girls tonight. We finally got the ceiling fan installed in their bedroom. It's going to make such a huge difference in how hot their room is, and it's just such a relief to have it done!

Before we could work on the fan we did have to go through and label all the breakers in the new circuit panel. It took awhile, but it's worth knowing what breaker controls what light or outlet. The only thing? There are now 3 unlabeled breakers. We have no idea what they control. We probably need to find out.

Oh! And neither air conditioner has popped the breaker since we had all the work done. The house feels darn right chilly at 76° today! Yay!

Calamity found out today that Bubster and Bugster are going to be going for guardianship of Frank. I'll leave it at this: it wasn't pretty. I really hope she doesn't give the kids too much trouble over it. The boys' dad is all for it, and since he has had custody for the last 3 years, he's hoping he can somehow transfer guardianship to the kids and help them avoid having to pay an attorney.

The whole thing just totally turns my stomach. I'm very thankful Frank isn't going to the state. I'm very thankful and proud of the kids that they're stepping up and taking responsibility. But my heart aches for Frank. I'm sure he's feeling a bit disposable.

I'm going to go spend some time with my wonderful husband and forget all my worries for awhile. Worry-free nights are good.

Calamity

This might take a bit, so bear with me. To say I'm a bit distressed and more than a bit irritated would be an understatement...

Bugster met her husband almost 5 years ago. Bug's hubster (I'll call him 'Bubster') had to step up and be the man of the family when his dad took off with another woman to another part of the country leaving him and his younger brother in the care (and I use that term loosely!) of their mother. It's been an absolute nightmare for the kids.

Bubster was signing his paycheck over to his mom (I'll call her 'Calamity') to buy groceries when he was only 16 or 17. She would buy minimal groceries and drink the rest away. She hasn't had a job that lasted for more than 2 weeks in the entire time we've known Bubster. She has been evicted from every place she's paid rent in that period of time for nonpayment and has been kicked out of friends' homes each of the other places she's lived.

Calamity stole a credit card application out of the mail that was in Bubster's name and stole his identity. He had no idea until the creditors came calling for a card she'd maxed out. She routinely left Bubster and his little brother alone to hang out with her boyfriend who was in jail. That's how the boys spent their last Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year together before Bubster moved out on his own-alone for the holidays and forbidden to come to our house for dinner.

She supposedly threw their brand new video games in the trash, because she was mad at the kids, although we suspect she pawned them for booze. She promised bicycles and gifts to the kids and drank the Christmas/birthday money away instead. It was just a hopeless situation.

After one of the evictions, she moved with Bubster's little brother (I'll call him Frank) to the next school district. Calamity did absolutely nothing to enroll him in school at all. Instead, she let him play video games all day long and called it 'homeschooling' (this kind of thing is what gives homeschooling a bad name, and it drives me nuts!) while she'd drown herself in the bottle. We got involved, since we knew the principal of the school he was supposed to be attending, and the principal got the ball rolling. If the principal hadn't gotten involved Bubster's little brother wouldn't be turned over to CPS, because that was the next step we would have taken.

At the end of that school year 3 years ago, Calamity sent Frank to live with his dad, because she 'just couldn't handle it anymore'. It was probably the best thing that could have happened to Frank, as she spiraled even further out of control. The fact that Bubster somehow not only survived this woman but has actually become a decent, upstanding young man is beyond us. We are very, very proud of him and proud to call him our son-in-law.

Fast forward 3 years. Frank came to spend the summer with Bugster, Bubster and Calamity. And although she'd known for months that he would be coming, Calamity did nothing to prepare for his arrival. She had no food. She hadn't done the laundry. Nothing. Can you imagine how welcome he felt?

So Frank, now 14, has spent a lot of the time he's been here with Bugster and Bubster. At this point, he doesn't even like spending time with Calamity. Not only is there nothing to do at her apartment, but she has him babysit for her boyfriend's kids or grandkids for free! He's never met these people before, but she makes him feel obligated. It's just so wrong on so many levels!

Anyway, I've been on the phone most of the day with Bugster. She's at her wit's end. The boys' dad has decided that Frank will not be coming home, because he 'just can't handle it' now. As of right now, it looks like Bugster and Bubster will have Frank living with them. They are looking into guardianship, and there is hope that she will willingly sign Frank over to them, so they don't have a problem with her fighting them.

However, it appears as though they're ready to fight.

Frank is not a disposable child.

They will not let him be thrown away yet again.