Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.

You can read the start of my journey here.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

And let the stress begin...

After countless hours of sorting paperwork and getting rid of more than 40, (I really should have counted them), boxes I finally found the birth certificates I've been searching for weeks to find. I only have 2 or 3 boxes left to sort through that have come in from the garage. Granted, I'll have to re-sort some of the stuff I've set aside to scan or to keep, but it's mountains less than I had a few weeks ago. I can handle it.

I also still have all the paperwork that was already in the study before we started bringing boxes in from the garage to sort. Thankfully, there are only about 7 boxes or so. There is a chance that I will actually be able to get through the rest of the paperwork by the end of October. That would be huge. But, I have other things happening, so I won't be disappointed, if I don't finish it all up by then. I know I will be done with the paperwork and have the study completely cleared out by Thanksgiving. 

Again. Huge.

In the meantime, we will be putting the social security card found earlier and the birth certificates to use and start the process of getting guardianship of the girls. 

That's right.


Apparently after a child with a developmental disability has finished with high school, their parents are no longer in charge of their medical, financial, or other such life-changing decisions. They're treated like any other adult. They have the right to refuse medical treatment. They have the right to spend their money as they see fit, so if they want to do nothing but buy cookies and nothing else, they have that right. 

So this summer when Hopper broke her leg, if she had not still been in school, we could not have signed for her to have surgery. If she had not consented to it, the doctors would refuse to treat until they had the court's okay to treat. The delay that getting a court order could take could mean the difference between life and death. And we get that. We will never allow either of the girls to go through something so horrible.

However, it still somehow feels wrong that a parent has to get guardianship to be able to make the same decisions for their disabled children that they've made since they brought them home from the hospital as babies. It's a bit of a slap in the face. It feels as though your parenthood is somehow being siphoned away, and you will now just be called, 'guardian'.

Thankfully, it's just a legal term. 

We will always be the girls' mommy and daddy.

And nobody can ever take that away, no matter how hard they might try.

So for the next couple of months while we go through getting permanent guardianship of our own children, the stress level is going to go up. It will involve attorneys and court visits and home visits and . . . 


So let the stress begin. 

We're ready. 




  1. I can't even imagine.


  2. when my sister-in-law was attempting to have her son adopted by her second husband, the courts basically had to go through everything as though she was adopting him as well. Her own child. Amazing

  3. Ugh. That's just redonkulous! It should be part of their IEP or something, that if they can't logically make those kind of decisions parents should be granted "guardianship". Sorry. Hugs!!

  4. good grief! That is patently ridiculous! Hope it goes well without too much red tape . as to the rest Yay !you are awsome

  5. Thank you. I will pass this information on to a daughter who needs to be made aware.
    It blows ones mind!

  6. So sorry that you have to go through this. I am wondering if it is like that in all states or just yours. I have a friend who needs to know about this and check it out. She has a disabled son who is 18 and out of school. Could be a really bad situation if something happened. Thank you for letting all of us know about this.

  7. Oh man.

    You at least sound like you're buckling up for the ride...

    My thoughts are with you.

    Please let us know how it goes...ou

  8. Thanks, Julia.

    Portia, that is the stuff of which nightmares are made! UGH!

    Tiffany, IEPs are only in effect while they are in school. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on which way you look at it, Life After High School doesn't come with IEPs. So while we can make those decisions for them while they are young enough to be under our parental care, everything changes when they reach the age of majority. :::sigh:::

    Thanks Fern. :)

    My name, hopefully, she already knows about it, so it doesn't feel like a sledgehammer hitting her in the solar plexus like it did us.

    Bonnie, I think it's likely a federal thing. It's really no different than an elderly person who needs a guardian, because they can no longer make decisions for themselves due to dementia or a stroke, etc. I definitely think she should be told about it, if she hasn't heard of it before. Hearing it from a friend will certainly make it more bearable. ::::hugs::: And thank you for being there for your friend.

    Empress, thank you.


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