In the last couple of years, I've watched as my computer time has been cut to nearly nothing. It wasn't that I was purposely trying to scale back. I have just found myself accessing the internet from my phone more often than not, but even with it, I'm not online much. Add the fact that I dropped my phone, and the face has this huge spiderweb crack all over the face, and I'm on it even less than I had been.
One problem is that the desktop is in the study, which is filled with boxes of paperwork that I still need to finish sorting, and it tends to be pretty dusty in there. Add the fact that the window air conditioner is in there and runs for a good part of the year, (especially when we have had fires in the area and can't have the windows open for fresh air), doesn't help at all. The cold not only flares my asthma up but makes me ache all over. Fibromyalgia and cold don't play well together.
And while I do have my little netbook that Hubster got me for our anniversary a couple of years ago, I find myself not using it for weeks at a time. I'm not exactly sure why. It isn't nearly as comfortable to type on or on my aging eyes as the desktop is, so I find myself avoiding it. That definitely plays a role in it, but I think part of it was that I was wanting to keep from dealing with things online, as well.
Needless to say, the number of emails I have amassed now numbers in the thousands. I have deleted hundreds of them already, but I do need to pare down even further. In the meantime, I have started to deal with some of that stuff that is in the back of my mind on a continual basis. The master list, so to speak. In other words, mind clutter.
Because it's been so long since I logged into my yahoo account, I can no longer access it. Funny thing is that I was still getting emails from the groups I belonged to when I was using it. So I unsubscribed from the group through email and will consider the entire account a thing of the past. I closed down a group I used to manage on another email and unsubscribed from the other groups I belonged to. It sounds silly to say, but it was a bittersweet thing to get rid of it. I'd had the user name for well over a decade, but I realized I just wasn't using it, and it was a thing of the past. So rather than hanging onto it for old times' sake, I chalked it up to moving on with my life and left it behind me with a smile.
In the spirit of moving on, I also cleared out many of the blogs I was following. Unfortunately, so many of them went by the wayside a year, or 2, or even 3 years ago. I went through the list and checked whether or not the blog was still active. I unfollowed
the blogs that hadn't had a post in the last 12 months. I didn't unfollow all of them. There are a couple special ones that I left on my blog roll. I am hoping the people will eventually show up and miraculously start to blog again. I really miss them. All told, I deleted almost 50% of the blogs I'd been following. It saddened me to see so many of them give up the ghost, but it did feel good to clear them out.
While it might not seem like much, making the extra room in my head helps. I can't think straight when every nook and cranny in my brain is full of mind clutter.
Cleaning up one mind closet at a time.
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Friday, February 1, 2013
When toilet paper sticking to your shoe takes on a whole new meaning.
I'm feeling cooped up and I've got a bit of Spring Fever, even though we're nowhere close to Spring.
I was supposed to have my tonsils removed a couple of weeks ago, but because of a medical condition I have they had to reschedule it. Apparently I will never be allowed to have surgery at a surgery center and instead this and any future surgeries need to be performed at the hospital. I go in next week to have the work done, and I'm just ready to get it over with.
I've been trying to stay away from the germs that are in public places as much as possible, because I didn't want to come down with anything that would stop me from going in. For the most part it's been easy, but I have to admit the last couple of weeks have dragged on. The day before I was scheduled to go in, they broke the news to me that it needed to be done in the hospital. So just when I was just about to see the light of day I had 2 weeks added to my sentence. I'm ready to be paroled! I want to take the girls shopping and not be concerned that I'll catch something that will postpone the surgery once again, if I run to the store for a gallon of milk.
I have to admit that things haven't been exactly boring here at home while waiting though. Last week when I was getting ready for a doctor's appointment, things got a little exciting. Have I mentioned that not all excitement is the same? If not, let me tell you now that excitement is not necessarily a good thing...
After giving Hopper her shower, I jumped in, so I'd be ready for my doctor's appointment. I'd been shaving my legs and was finishing up when I noticed the shower drain cover was starting to float. I was immediately filled with a sense of dread. The dread turned to horror, as I was scrambling to rinse off my legs and noticed black stuff coming back up through the drain.
Crap.
Literally and figuratively both.
I jumped out as fast as I could and stretched each foot up to the sink and washed them as best I could before drying off and getting dressed. I slathered my feet with hand sanitizer before putting on my socks and shoes. It was the best I could do under the circumstances, and it made me feel marginally better, but I was still grossed out.
Thankfully, we didn't have to leave for the appointment for a couple of hours, so Hubster got the snake out and snaked the drain. The water in the shower and on the floor of the laundry room subsided, and he did get a small clump of roots out, so we were hopeful all was well. It wasn't. As soon as I flushed the toilet upstairs, the toilet downstairs started backing up. In the split moment confusion of watching the toilet water rise, Hubster flushed it hoping it would go down. It did. All over the floor.
We were back to square one, but it was time to head out the door for the appointments at this point, so Hubster and Scooter had to skip their showers. We called the plumbers on the way to the car and asked, if they could meet us back at the house once we were done across town. Thankfully, it all worked out, and the drain was snaked once again with a gigantic snake that is much more powerful than our industrial one. The roots he got out of the drain looked like a small volleyball in the plastic bag.
Gross.
But at least we don't have to worry about black stuff floating up through the shower drain when we're showering again. The bad thing is that we do have things to worry about.
A few years ago, we were told we needed to replace the drain outside from the outside of the house all the way to the street. We put it off, because it was going to cost anywhere from $7,000 to $10,000. We're now wishing we had done it. The price has gone up to almost 25 grand! Apparently one of the permits that is needed is almost $6,000, and there is more than one permit needed in order to complete the work.
Crap.
If we couldn't afford $10,000 a few years ago, I can absolutely promise we can't afford $25,000 today.
Crap.
So we're looking into a different solution. It involves putting in a 'clean out'. They can replace about 10 feet of the outside drain and put two pipes shaped like a U. If they use the side of the U that is closest to the street, the can snake things out into the house, and if they use the part of the U that is closest to the house, they can clean everything out toward the street, and they never have to bring the filthy snake down our stairs again. So it's definitely an option. It's a $7,000 to $10,000 option, but at least it isn't $25,000. And at this point, we need to get it done, so we don't keep having these horrible sewer problems.
Crap.
On a good note, I got the router replaced the other day, so I'll be able to finally get online and write a blog post without being bumped.
I'll take it.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
500
That's the number of posts I've published on my blog so far. In many ways I wish that I'd have been able to keep up with daily posting. I'd be close to 1000 posts right now, if I had, and that would have been sort of cool. That being said, I want this to be a place for me to unwind and decompress, and pressuring myself to keep up with daily posts is not conducive to decompression.
So 500 it is.
At the same time that I want this to be a place to decompress, I don't want it to just be about kvetching about my life. My mama taught me that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all. I think there can be a happy medium, though, so I'll probably be back here complaining from time to time.
It is what it is, and I am who I am.
So I figured something out the other day. One of the amino acids I'm taking to help with the neuropathy sort of counteracts my thyroid medicine. I don't know why I didn't see that when I researched the amino acid. I don't know, if the information just wasn't there, or if I overlooked it at the time, or what. What I do know is that I've been absolutely dragging the last few months. I've had no energy, and that's a major symptom of hypothyroidism.
I've been taking the amino acid for over a year now, and I hadn't noticed a difference in the effectiveness of my thyroid medicine until somewhat recently. I don't know, if it's because it took awhile for the effectiveness to be altered, or what. Unfortunately, my neuropathy has been out of control lately, so giving up the amino acid isn't an option, and in fact I'm needing to double up on it and take it twice a day. It's the only thing I can take that makes any difference in the pain level. I'd love it, if the prescription nerve meds worked for me, but they don't. If I take them, I sleep for days, and that just isn't an option. So I've made an appointment with my doctor to discuss it all in the next couple of weeks.
In the meantime, I'm hoping we'll all be feeling well enough soon, (This hit and miss stuff that always happens once school starts for the year is so frustrating!), so we can finally officially celebrate the 4 birthdays that have happened since the end of June.
We're also hoping to get a bunch of yardwork done and get rid of a bunch of elm trees in the backyard that have once again grown into a jungle back there. We'll take down our apple tree when we're back there, too. A windstorm took about half the tree a couple of years ago, and another wind took half of what was left back there a couple of weeks ago, so it has to go before it falls on the house. And then there's the scraggly little peach tree in the corner of the yard that has been slowly dying over the last few years but is tall enough it's in the middle of the power lines.
Once we're done getting the trees down, we're hoping to toss some grass seed down and cover it with straw to help it stay alive over the winter. If it survives, we'll just rake up the straw in the Spring and have an actual lawn instead of the dirt pile we have back there now. We'll also be chipping the trees with a professional chipper and we're hoping the wood chips put down between the fences will prevent future saplings from taking root. We so need to get the trees out of there, so we can lower our fire risk. After all the wildfires we've had in Colorado this year, we don't need to add to the problem.
And to end this on a good note...I spoke with the attorney today, since we still haven't gotten our paperwork in the mail showing that we are officially the girls' guardians. He said that he mailed them yesterday or the day before, and we should be getting them any day now.
We can hope.
So 500 it is.
At the same time that I want this to be a place to decompress, I don't want it to just be about kvetching about my life. My mama taught me that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all. I think there can be a happy medium, though, so I'll probably be back here complaining from time to time.
It is what it is, and I am who I am.
So I figured something out the other day. One of the amino acids I'm taking to help with the neuropathy sort of counteracts my thyroid medicine. I don't know why I didn't see that when I researched the amino acid. I don't know, if the information just wasn't there, or if I overlooked it at the time, or what. What I do know is that I've been absolutely dragging the last few months. I've had no energy, and that's a major symptom of hypothyroidism.
I've been taking the amino acid for over a year now, and I hadn't noticed a difference in the effectiveness of my thyroid medicine until somewhat recently. I don't know, if it's because it took awhile for the effectiveness to be altered, or what. Unfortunately, my neuropathy has been out of control lately, so giving up the amino acid isn't an option, and in fact I'm needing to double up on it and take it twice a day. It's the only thing I can take that makes any difference in the pain level. I'd love it, if the prescription nerve meds worked for me, but they don't. If I take them, I sleep for days, and that just isn't an option. So I've made an appointment with my doctor to discuss it all in the next couple of weeks.
In the meantime, I'm hoping we'll all be feeling well enough soon, (This hit and miss stuff that always happens once school starts for the year is so frustrating!), so we can finally officially celebrate the 4 birthdays that have happened since the end of June.
We're also hoping to get a bunch of yardwork done and get rid of a bunch of elm trees in the backyard that have once again grown into a jungle back there. We'll take down our apple tree when we're back there, too. A windstorm took about half the tree a couple of years ago, and another wind took half of what was left back there a couple of weeks ago, so it has to go before it falls on the house. And then there's the scraggly little peach tree in the corner of the yard that has been slowly dying over the last few years but is tall enough it's in the middle of the power lines.
Once we're done getting the trees down, we're hoping to toss some grass seed down and cover it with straw to help it stay alive over the winter. If it survives, we'll just rake up the straw in the Spring and have an actual lawn instead of the dirt pile we have back there now. We'll also be chipping the trees with a professional chipper and we're hoping the wood chips put down between the fences will prevent future saplings from taking root. We so need to get the trees out of there, so we can lower our fire risk. After all the wildfires we've had in Colorado this year, we don't need to add to the problem.
And to end this on a good note...I spoke with the attorney today, since we still haven't gotten our paperwork in the mail showing that we are officially the girls' guardians. He said that he mailed them yesterday or the day before, and we should be getting them any day now.
We can hope.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Hello!
I'm back.
Sort of.
We returned late Sunday night after 6.5 weeks back home. Thankfully, Mom is doing very well after she had her surgery, and she's finally home. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! We're all so very grateful and very relieved she's doing so well. I am incredibly thankful the girls and I were able to be able to stay as long as we did, (Christmas Miracles revisted!!), but it was hard saying goodbye.
In spite of the fact we left in such a huge hurry, and the house is a disaster area, it's wonderful to be home again. We've all been exhausted since we got back. I think a lot of it is due to the higher elevation. That, and something about being gone so long under stressful circumstances wears a person out. I'm hoping we'll feel rested by next week. Sadly, the house isn't going to clean itself.
I'm hoping that as I get back into the swing of things I'll get back to blogging again. I've really missed it and the people behind the screen.
:::waves hello to the people behind the screen::::
I hope to see you around!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
It's official.
Sort of.
Christmas Eve's mail included paperwork from the attorney letting us know that he had petitioned the court on our behalf. Things were finally in motion. We knew to expect more soon, but we didn't realize how soon that would be.
Last week's mail included more paperwork from the attorney letting us know the name of the court appointed visitor who will be working on the girls' behalf. Her report is due to the courts by January 17th, so she will be calling us to set up a meeting with the girls very soon. We're assuming we'll be hearing from her in the next couple of days. I think all the court offices are closed tomorrow for the New Year holiday, but I wouldn't be surprised, if we get the call Tuesday. I guess we'll see.
So that which we have dreaded is upon us.
So far, we're surviving. My stomach didn't start flipping over the paperwork that came on Christmas Eve. In fact it came as almost a relief, because it was finally here. We can now deal with it in the present instead of as an unknown future thing. The paperwork that came yesterday, though? Yeah. Not quite as much a relief. At the same time, the anxiety meds are doing their job, and I'm actually doing okay with it all. For now. We'll see what happens when we actually have a court date.
In the meantime, I'll try to keep on keepin' on. I'll try to get caught up on the laundry and attempt to get the girls' rooms under control once again. It really doesn't take a lot for them to get messed up, but at least it only takes a fraction of the time to get them back in order that it used to take. The frustration comes from the fact that Scooter would keep her own room fairly clean, if it weren't for Hopper 'helping' put things in there. She just opens the door and lobs whatever is in her hand at the time into the room and then shuts the door.
I'm also going to make an effort to do a daily blog post again, a resolution, if you will. Posting has been such a huge help over the last couple of years, and I've really missed it and the imaginary friends I've met while blogging. While I will be trying to post daily for awhile, I know I'm not going to have the mental wherewithal to read blogs until we're through this guardianship situation. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch up here and there once this big stressor is behind us.
Until then...
Wishing everyone Happy & Healthy New Year Blessings!
Christmas Eve's mail included paperwork from the attorney letting us know that he had petitioned the court on our behalf. Things were finally in motion. We knew to expect more soon, but we didn't realize how soon that would be.
Last week's mail included more paperwork from the attorney letting us know the name of the court appointed visitor who will be working on the girls' behalf. Her report is due to the courts by January 17th, so she will be calling us to set up a meeting with the girls very soon. We're assuming we'll be hearing from her in the next couple of days. I think all the court offices are closed tomorrow for the New Year holiday, but I wouldn't be surprised, if we get the call Tuesday. I guess we'll see.
So that which we have dreaded is upon us.
So far, we're surviving. My stomach didn't start flipping over the paperwork that came on Christmas Eve. In fact it came as almost a relief, because it was finally here. We can now deal with it in the present instead of as an unknown future thing. The paperwork that came yesterday, though? Yeah. Not quite as much a relief. At the same time, the anxiety meds are doing their job, and I'm actually doing okay with it all. For now. We'll see what happens when we actually have a court date.
In the meantime, I'll try to keep on keepin' on. I'll try to get caught up on the laundry and attempt to get the girls' rooms under control once again. It really doesn't take a lot for them to get messed up, but at least it only takes a fraction of the time to get them back in order that it used to take. The frustration comes from the fact that Scooter would keep her own room fairly clean, if it weren't for Hopper 'helping' put things in there. She just opens the door and lobs whatever is in her hand at the time into the room and then shuts the door.
I'm also going to make an effort to do a daily blog post again, a resolution, if you will. Posting has been such a huge help over the last couple of years, and I've really missed it and the imaginary friends I've met while blogging. While I will be trying to post daily for awhile, I know I'm not going to have the mental wherewithal to read blogs until we're through this guardianship situation. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch up here and there once this big stressor is behind us.
Until then...
Wishing everyone Happy & Healthy New Year Blessings!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I'm still alive in spite of being buried under a ton of paperwork.
I'm still working on paperwork. I've been putting in 8 to 14 hours a day on it, and I've made huge progress. The boxes of papers in the picture I posted earlier spanned an area 5 wide, 3 deep and to the ceiling in the back 2 rows. At this point, the boxes take up an area 1 deep, 1 wide, and the stack only goes about 2/3 up the wall.
Unfortunately, the picture didn't include all the paperwork that needs to be tackled. There's more current stuff, (from the last 5 years or so), on the other side of the study. It needs to be addressed, so the study can be fully organized and functional.
Several people, including The Hubster, have suggested ordering the birth certificates again. And while it might be easier in some ways to order them, I'm hoping I will have found the ones I'm looking for by the time the new ones would have arrived in the mail, anyway. Because I can't just go down to the courthouse and pick them up, since the girls weren't born here, it would take several weeks for them to make an appearance. I know we ordered a new birth certificate for Hopper a few years ago, and I'm sure to come across it in the newer stuff that still needs sorted. I still need to locate Scooters, but for the life of me I can't remember, if I ordered a new one for her then or not. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
While I was sorting through boxes this weekend, I realized the main reason I don't want to order the birth certificates is for totally self-serving purposes. If I order them, I won't have to finish the paperwork anytime soon. And I really, really, really need to get through this paperwork. It's been hanging over my head and weighing me down for far too long.
I actually came across paperwork from the bank account I had in high school!
Did I mention how long it's been holding me back??
Far. Too. Long. That's how long.
As a result of the hours I've been putting in on paperwork, I haven't been online much at all.
I've ignored my friends and family.
I've failed to return emails.
I've neglected my blog.
And unfortunately, I don't see that changing in the foreseeable future.
In the meantime, I will continue to update the sidebar with the shredables count.
I hope to be back to blogging daily, returning emails, and interacting with friends and family again within a week or two...
Definitely by Thanksgiving.
I am also hoping to be finished once and for all with paperwork, so all I need to do is maintain things.
Here's to hoping...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Keep it simple, stupid.
So. This is it.
I am not sure, if I'll keep up with the blog every day, or if I'll take a day or two off when I need it in the next couple of weeks. I'm giving myself permission to miss a day here and there, if I need one, but I am hoping either The Hubster or Bugster will do a quick post tomorrow night, but I'm okay, if they don't.
I'm tired tonight. A bit on the chilled side, (not chilled in a sick way, but chilled in a my body's decided it's time for me to crawl under the covers for the night way), but that happens when I get tired. I've got to go shower with my special soap tonight before I can go to bed. I'd really rather just go to bed, but I'll be a good girl and shower.
I've got to pack a quick bag. I won't be taking much. My nightie. The netbook...just in case I'm feeling well enough to post. My phone. Other than that? Not much. It seems I always take way too much to the hospital and never get around to even 1/4 of what I take, so this time I'm not going to do it. If I need something from home, I'll ask my husband to bring it up with him.
If there's one thing I've learned since that cold day last January, when I learned I am a hoarder, it's that there's a lot of good to be found in the saying, "Keep it simple, stupid."
I'm learning.
I'm learning.
Hope to see y'all soon!
I am not sure, if I'll keep up with the blog every day, or if I'll take a day or two off when I need it in the next couple of weeks. I'm giving myself permission to miss a day here and there, if I need one, but I am hoping either The Hubster or Bugster will do a quick post tomorrow night, but I'm okay, if they don't.
I'm tired tonight. A bit on the chilled side, (not chilled in a sick way, but chilled in a my body's decided it's time for me to crawl under the covers for the night way), but that happens when I get tired. I've got to go shower with my special soap tonight before I can go to bed. I'd really rather just go to bed, but I'll be a good girl and shower.
I've got to pack a quick bag. I won't be taking much. My nightie. The netbook...just in case I'm feeling well enough to post. My phone. Other than that? Not much. It seems I always take way too much to the hospital and never get around to even 1/4 of what I take, so this time I'm not going to do it. If I need something from home, I'll ask my husband to bring it up with him.
If there's one thing I've learned since that cold day last January, when I learned I am a hoarder, it's that there's a lot of good to be found in the saying, "Keep it simple, stupid."
I'm learning.
I'm learning.
Hope to see y'all soon!
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Bugs
I'm doing so much better today than the last few days. I think writing has really helped me to process things and to begin healing.
Bugster and I got to spend about 3 hours earlier today. I miss her. With her having her own family, plus a full time job, plus full time school, we don't get much time with her, so today was extra special. We went to the store and picked up a few groceries and bought 3 different fabrics to make scrubs for her for school. She's going to school to become a vet tech, and if a student has perfect attendance, they get to wear the scrub top of their choice to school the next session. She had perfect attendance, and the next session starts Monday, so I'll be busy sewing tomorrow.
When we got done shopping we came home and went through the fabric I had stored in the attic. She picked out a couple more patterns, so by the time all is said and done, she'll have 5 different scrub tops to be able to wear to school. That's a lot of work for just one of us to do, so it was decided that Hubster, Hopper, Scooter and I would go to Bugster and Bubster's for dinner tonight, and we'd work on cutting out patterns as we could. I'll be sewing them over the next few days as I can, although I'm really hoping I'll be able to finish 2 or 3 of them tomorrow. We were able to cut 2 full tops out and only need 1 more piece for a 3rd. So I'll be sewing what I have tomorrow, and Bugster will be cutting out the other 2 tops.
Bugster's had a lot on her mind lately. She is wanting to be able to blog about it and share it with friends, if she feels like it, and I not only understand that need but encourage it. Blogging has helped me deal with a lot over the last 9 months. However, I talked to her about something I felt I had to do, and it broke my heart to have to do it, even though she understood completely. I had to stop following her blog publicly, and she removed my comments for me.
The thing is, she wants to share her blog with her friends on Facebook, and she absolutely has that right. However, there are certain people who know me who are her FB friends, and I don't want them to know about my blog. If I had wanted them to know, I'd have shared a link to my blog with them in the first place. The thing is, they would be able to find it instantly, if I left a comment for her. I feel I need to be able to deal with the hoarding and the things that have led up to the hoarding in my own way and without any added pressure. She gets it, supports me fully, and wasn't hurt that I had to make this very difficult decision.
I am so very blessed to have her for my daughter.
Bugster and I got to spend about 3 hours earlier today. I miss her. With her having her own family, plus a full time job, plus full time school, we don't get much time with her, so today was extra special. We went to the store and picked up a few groceries and bought 3 different fabrics to make scrubs for her for school. She's going to school to become a vet tech, and if a student has perfect attendance, they get to wear the scrub top of their choice to school the next session. She had perfect attendance, and the next session starts Monday, so I'll be busy sewing tomorrow.
When we got done shopping we came home and went through the fabric I had stored in the attic. She picked out a couple more patterns, so by the time all is said and done, she'll have 5 different scrub tops to be able to wear to school. That's a lot of work for just one of us to do, so it was decided that Hubster, Hopper, Scooter and I would go to Bugster and Bubster's for dinner tonight, and we'd work on cutting out patterns as we could. I'll be sewing them over the next few days as I can, although I'm really hoping I'll be able to finish 2 or 3 of them tomorrow. We were able to cut 2 full tops out and only need 1 more piece for a 3rd. So I'll be sewing what I have tomorrow, and Bugster will be cutting out the other 2 tops.
Bugster's had a lot on her mind lately. She is wanting to be able to blog about it and share it with friends, if she feels like it, and I not only understand that need but encourage it. Blogging has helped me deal with a lot over the last 9 months. However, I talked to her about something I felt I had to do, and it broke my heart to have to do it, even though she understood completely. I had to stop following her blog publicly, and she removed my comments for me.
The thing is, she wants to share her blog with her friends on Facebook, and she absolutely has that right. However, there are certain people who know me who are her FB friends, and I don't want them to know about my blog. If I had wanted them to know, I'd have shared a link to my blog with them in the first place. The thing is, they would be able to find it instantly, if I left a comment for her. I feel I need to be able to deal with the hoarding and the things that have led up to the hoarding in my own way and without any added pressure. She gets it, supports me fully, and wasn't hurt that I had to make this very difficult decision.
I am so very blessed to have her for my daughter.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Do you have a problem with change?
I wouldn't describe myself as being fluent in computers or techy by any means, but I'm not 100% computer illiterate either. However, I have to admit to being pleased with myself for figuring out how to post to my blog by email.
Go ahead.
Get it out of your system.
I can see you rolling your eyes! Hello!
Please. Just get it over with.
Are you done now?
Good. Just let me have my little moment, okay? I'm tired. It's been a long week. But I'm thrilled that I can start to compose a post from my phone while I'm at the doctor's office or waiting at the DMV or wherever one might find me. And I have to admit that I'm excited about not having to have a computer at hand in order to post to my blog. It's very freeing.
For whatever reason, I didn't realize this option was available. I guess I just haven't looked for the option, because I've had other things on my mind. No matter. I figured it out. But the entire time I've had a blog, which hasn't been all that long, I do things a specific way.
I go to blogger.com, and I look to see which blogs have been updated. And although I don't always comment, I do read all posts at least 95% of the time. But I access them from the homepage. I have such a rough time remembering to look at the posts in the RSS feed that is delivered to my inbox. It's out of the ordinary, and I like the way I do things now. So why should I change? Unfortunately, that also means I catch up on some blogs only once a week or so when I check my email. Will I do it any differently now that I'm very much aware of it?
Probably not.
I tend to resist change. I don't know, if I've just had my fill of change, or if it's part of the hoarding mentality or what, but I don't like it. Well. For the most part, anyway. Some change is good. Watching Hoarders for the first time months ago was the catalyst to an entire lifestyle change. That was a really good change, and yet I find I still resist it on some days.
However, my friend came over the other day with her son. He's going to be watering our outdoor plants when we're on vacation, and she wanted a visual of what was expected of him. She wanted to see the pinatas I'd made, and I wanted to show them to her, so I had her come in. The house was a bit of a disaster, but it was better than it was the last time she was here. But the big change came with me.
I surprised myself by boldly opening the door and not only inviting them in, but shuttling them through the house to look at the pinatas I'd made and the cookie jar, etc. We then went through the garage that makes me cringe every time I go through the door, and I led them into the backyard to the plants. The thing that surprises me the most is that I was so at ease. Normally my pulse is racing, my palms are sweating, and my breath quickens when I have to let someone in the house. This day? I didn't even flinch.
I'm not sure, if part of it is that my trust has deepened with this friend. I know she won't judge me for the hoarding in spite of the fact that she's pretty much the exact opposite of me and gets rid of almost everything. I'm not sure, if this confidence has to do with becoming comfortable in my own skin, because I know I have a problem, but I'm working really, really hard to overcome it, or what. I just know that it was a little victory for me to allow someone in my house, give them a tour, and not even flinch in embarrassment.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still embarrassed by the mess, but I have come so very far in the last several months, that it doesn't bother me like it used to. Like it did when the kids were little, and I'd pretend I couldn't hear the doorbell or someone knocking, because I didn't want to have to open the door and expose the mess. I didn't want to expose me and my shortcomings.
Yep. I'll keep this change.
I'm no longer paralyzed by stuff.
Go ahead.
Get it out of your system.
I can see you rolling your eyes! Hello!
Please. Just get it over with.
Are you done now?
Good. Just let me have my little moment, okay? I'm tired. It's been a long week. But I'm thrilled that I can start to compose a post from my phone while I'm at the doctor's office or waiting at the DMV or wherever one might find me. And I have to admit that I'm excited about not having to have a computer at hand in order to post to my blog. It's very freeing.
For whatever reason, I didn't realize this option was available. I guess I just haven't looked for the option, because I've had other things on my mind. No matter. I figured it out. But the entire time I've had a blog, which hasn't been all that long, I do things a specific way.
I go to blogger.com, and I look to see which blogs have been updated. And although I don't always comment, I do read all posts at least 95% of the time. But I access them from the homepage. I have such a rough time remembering to look at the posts in the RSS feed that is delivered to my inbox. It's out of the ordinary, and I like the way I do things now. So why should I change? Unfortunately, that also means I catch up on some blogs only once a week or so when I check my email. Will I do it any differently now that I'm very much aware of it?
Probably not.
I tend to resist change. I don't know, if I've just had my fill of change, or if it's part of the hoarding mentality or what, but I don't like it. Well. For the most part, anyway. Some change is good. Watching Hoarders for the first time months ago was the catalyst to an entire lifestyle change. That was a really good change, and yet I find I still resist it on some days.
However, my friend came over the other day with her son. He's going to be watering our outdoor plants when we're on vacation, and she wanted a visual of what was expected of him. She wanted to see the pinatas I'd made, and I wanted to show them to her, so I had her come in. The house was a bit of a disaster, but it was better than it was the last time she was here. But the big change came with me.
I surprised myself by boldly opening the door and not only inviting them in, but shuttling them through the house to look at the pinatas I'd made and the cookie jar, etc. We then went through the garage that makes me cringe every time I go through the door, and I led them into the backyard to the plants. The thing that surprises me the most is that I was so at ease. Normally my pulse is racing, my palms are sweating, and my breath quickens when I have to let someone in the house. This day? I didn't even flinch.
I'm not sure, if part of it is that my trust has deepened with this friend. I know she won't judge me for the hoarding in spite of the fact that she's pretty much the exact opposite of me and gets rid of almost everything. I'm not sure, if this confidence has to do with becoming comfortable in my own skin, because I know I have a problem, but I'm working really, really hard to overcome it, or what. I just know that it was a little victory for me to allow someone in my house, give them a tour, and not even flinch in embarrassment.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still embarrassed by the mess, but I have come so very far in the last several months, that it doesn't bother me like it used to. Like it did when the kids were little, and I'd pretend I couldn't hear the doorbell or someone knocking, because I didn't want to have to open the door and expose the mess. I didn't want to expose me and my shortcomings.
Yep. I'll keep this change.
I'm no longer paralyzed by stuff.
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