I'm doing so much better today than the last few days. I think writing has really helped me to process things and to begin healing.
Bugster and I got to spend about 3 hours earlier today. I miss her. With her having her own family, plus a full time job, plus full time school, we don't get much time with her, so today was extra special. We went to the store and picked up a few groceries and bought 3 different fabrics to make scrubs for her for school. She's going to school to become a vet tech, and if a student has perfect attendance, they get to wear the scrub top of their choice to school the next session. She had perfect attendance, and the next session starts Monday, so I'll be busy sewing tomorrow.
When we got done shopping we came home and went through the fabric I had stored in the attic. She picked out a couple more patterns, so by the time all is said and done, she'll have 5 different scrub tops to be able to wear to school. That's a lot of work for just one of us to do, so it was decided that Hubster, Hopper, Scooter and I would go to Bugster and Bubster's for dinner tonight, and we'd work on cutting out patterns as we could. I'll be sewing them over the next few days as I can, although I'm really hoping I'll be able to finish 2 or 3 of them tomorrow. We were able to cut 2 full tops out and only need 1 more piece for a 3rd. So I'll be sewing what I have tomorrow, and Bugster will be cutting out the other 2 tops.
Bugster's had a lot on her mind lately. She is wanting to be able to blog about it and share it with friends, if she feels like it, and I not only understand that need but encourage it. Blogging has helped me deal with a lot over the last 9 months. However, I talked to her about something I felt I had to do, and it broke my heart to have to do it, even though she understood completely. I had to stop following her blog publicly, and she removed my comments for me.
The thing is, she wants to share her blog with her friends on Facebook, and she absolutely has that right. However, there are certain people who know me who are her FB friends, and I don't want them to know about my blog. If I had wanted them to know, I'd have shared a link to my blog with them in the first place. The thing is, they would be able to find it instantly, if I left a comment for her. I feel I need to be able to deal with the hoarding and the things that have led up to the hoarding in my own way and without any added pressure. She gets it, supports me fully, and wasn't hurt that I had to make this very difficult decision.
I am so very blessed to have her for my daughter.
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.