Good Decisions and All.

For years the back porch has been filled to overflowing. In fact, there have been varying degrees of full since we bought the house 18 years ago. It has seen many things come and go over the years, but it's always been pretty packed . At one point we actually tried to tarp it off, so the things on it wouldn't be ruined by the weather, and so it wasn't as much of an eyesore for the neighbors, but the wind and the sun destroyed the tarps, and we had a mess. 

A few years ago when we started working on cleaning up the backyard, we actually had the entire porch cleaned off. Ok. Maybe not completely, but it was close. We still had a stack of chairs, and a big metal footlocker that Hubster had used in his work truck for years, but for the most part it was clean. Unfortunately, it didn't stay that way. It didn't take long for it to be filled with overflow when we tried to clean out the garage. (I did, however, get rid of the stack of chairs several months ago, and the footlocker went a few weeks ago. Yay me!)

I'd hired a neighbor kid to help me with it, but it was more than he could handle. Heck, I couldn't even handle things. Frank has helped me with it here and there, but he really isn't into working much, so it's been very hit and miss. Awhile back, I asked Atticus, if he was interested in earning some money and helping me to dehoard. He's between jobs, so it was a good fit. He also grew up with hoarding parents, so he's familiar with the mindset, and he's been a huge encouragement without pushing me to make decisions I'm not quite ready to  make. As a result, we've made huge progress! 

We finished cleaning the back porch off completely a few weeks ago. It's since been somewhat filled with other things, but it's because we're using it as a staging area. In one area, I've got the things I'm selling, in another there are things I'm keeping, and in another area I keep the stuff that's being donated. It's been nice, because as I go through things in the garage, Atticus can take them to the appropriate place on the porch, and I can deal with it further from there. 

I've sold a few things and donated a bit, but by and large I've either given things away or thrown them out with the trash each week. I've been able to get rid of things that I've hung onto for years with relative ease, and when I struggle to get rid of something and finally  make the choice, Atticus chimes in with, "Good decision!" It's encouraging. 

One of the big decisions I made last week was to get rid of papers I've held onto since I was in high school close to 40 years ago. I took classes in architecture and drafting back then. I liked it well enough, but I wasn't quite suited to it. I struggled to get the perspective perfect in spite of the tools I had at my disposal to draw them correctly. I just couldn't get it quite right. In a weak moment my junior year of high school, I cheated. I took another student's drawing, (with his permission), and I turned it in as my own. I was found out, and I ended up with a poor grade. I don't recall, if I got an incomplete in the class, or if I only got an F on that paper. It's been a long time ago, and a lot has happened in my life since then, so the details are blurry, but it has hung like a millstone around my neck all these years. 

I'm ashamed that I was so weak as to think that cheating was an option just because I was overwhelmed and I had a looming deadline. I'm not proud of myself for that. I think it's one of the reasons I've hung onto the blueprints all these years. I wanted to punish myself for my failure, because I didn't deserve to forgive myself. How could I forgive myself for such a moral failure? As a result, I've paid for that single moment of cheating many, many times over the years. 

Last week, I went page by page through the blueprints, as I told the story to Atticus. As hard as it was to admit, it was so freeing. I was able to forgive myself, to put the past in the past, and to move in to the future. 

Good decisions. 

It's gonna be a challenge.

Our home isn't all that large. It seems even smaller now that Hubster struggles with walking in tight spaces due to the Parkinson's. Even without the Parkinson's it's small. We can't open the dishwasher and oven door at the same time, because they'd hit one another. They're on opposite walls. Like I said. Small. 

Don't get me wrong. We love our house. It's our home. It will be our one and only home. We just want it to be a little more user friendly when the eventuality comes that Hubster will need a wheelchair. It is likely years away, but it will come. And we know from experience that our house is not built for someone in a wheelchair to get around. When Hopper broke her leg a few years ago, I thought we were all going insane from the lack of space!

We had a couple of major hail storms this year that tossed baseball-sized hail at our roof and patio cover. It destroyed them both, so they both will need replaced. The problem is that the roof on patio is entirely too small. Originally, there had been a brick planter all the way around, but the roof didn't extend over them. Now that the planters are gone, the patio looks like it's been the butt of a summer camp prank and has been short sheeted. Unfortunately, we can't replace the patio roof with a size large enough to cover the pad without new concrete being poured and a new structure being built.

We've also always wanted to convert the garage into living space, (think bigger kitchen and bigger living room), but we never even thought it was a possibility. It certainly isn't big enough for a car. Ok. Maybe a small car would fit in it, but there's no way an SUV or van would fit, and I don't see us getting by without one or the other. Come to think of it, I suppose the possibility existed, but the money to make it happen didn't exist, so we really didn't know when, how, or if it could ever happen, let alone get a carport.

We didn't want a little flimsy aluminum one that would blow into our neighbor's backyard with the smallest gust of wind, but a permanent carport that would protect the car from the hail, heat, snow, and ice. The thought of not having to shovel snow from the driveway seems to good to be true, let alone the safety factor. Where both Hubster and Scooter are at greater risk for falls, the thought of a driveway free of ice sounds beyond amazing! 

All of these renovations have been nothing but far-off dreams for years. Until now. We just found out that Hubster's disability claim was awarded, so we will be signing loan paperwork to get started on all of it in the next few days! We are super excited and can't wait for the additions to our home to be complete!

The flip side of things is that it's a lot of work. The garage is full. It's not as full as it used to be, because we have worked on paring down quite a bit, but there is still a massive amount of stuff out there. My mission, if I choose to accept it, is to get rid of every. single. thing. in the garage and on the porch. Once they pull the walls from the kitchen and living room down, any mouse or spider that currently resides in the garage will have free access to the house. If we get rid of everything out there, they won't have a place to hide, and we'll be able to eradicate each of them before the wall comes down. 

Totally worth it. 

This mission is going to be difficult, there's no doubt, but guess who's up for the job? That's right! I'm ready to put in the work to reap the rewards of a bigger, more comfortable home. I'm finding that dehoarding decisions are coming easier now that there's a real goal in mind, so I'm just going to go in each day that I work out there with the renovations in mind. 

This mission may be difficult, it may be a herculean challenge, but it is not impossible. 

I accept.

Swirling thoughts aren't necessarily rambling.

I sit here tonight with words swirling in my head not knowing where to start. I want to be able to talk about how I was affected by hoarding growing up, but I want to do it with respect for those in my life who have tendencies towards hoarding. So I'll work on it when I can and probably think about it for awhile before I push the publish button.

I was able to be a bit productive today in spite of the back spasms that have been bothering me for the last several days. I was able to get 2 full coats of paint on the cubbies that will go above the stove and refrigerator in the kitchen. I'm using latex paint on them, so it dries much more quickly than the oil based paint does. I think I may still need to paint one final coat tomorrow, but I'm thrilled that they'll be done, and I'll be able to get stuff put where it goes very soon.

I'm not really satisfied with how the baskets we bought last year to go in the cubbies fit, but we'll use them for now. Eventually, I'll likely replace them with something that fits better and use the baskets I currently have elsewhere. In the post I linked to above, I commented about how it's harder to build a box than it may seem. At least for us. And there really were only two ways we could build this. They both had their downfalls. We had to choose one and get started on it, so I didn't take the opportunity to really think it through like I should have before we started.

We could either put the back on in between the top and bottom boards, or we could put it in behind them. We put it in between. However, the back takes up about 3/4" of space that the baskets needed to fit properly front to back this way. As a result, the larger baskets hang over the edge of the cubbies about 1/2". If we'd have done it the other way, it would have taken space out of the height of the cubbies. If I'd have thought about it a little more clearly, I would have done it the later way, so the baskets would fit more properly, but we can live with it like this for awhile.

We didn't do a perfect job on the cubbies, but we did well enough that we'll be able to live with it. Up close, I can see all the imperfections that would normally drive me insane. But we won't be up close to these on a regular basis, because they will hang above the stove and refrigerator in place of the cabinets we tore down. They won't be viewed up close, and they'll likely look just fine from a distance. I can live with that.

The Hubster took care of some problems we were having with the tarps on the back porch, today, too. The strings and duct tape weren't holding them at the top quite as securely as we were hoping, so they allow for a lot of leaves to blow in when the wind picks up. He put some hooks through the grommets and attached them to the metal awning of the porch. It made all the difference in the world. I'm feel so fortunate to have a workshop I can use to finish up on projects over the next few months!

I was able to get a couple loads of laundry done today, too, so I feel satisfied to have accomplished as much as I did today. Often, when my back is spasming like it was today, I can't seem to get anything done. So I won't complain about today's accomplishments.

I'll take what I can get.

T.A.R.P.? Nah. Just tarps.

Goodness gracious. I'm tired tonight. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open to finish my post, so this will need to be quick.

The Hubster and I were able to take the furniture I'd painted downstairs, so we've got a lot more room on the porch now. The pieces of furniture look amazing. I really like the way they look downstairs. I didn't get pictures take of them today. I decided to wait, because the drawer and doors for the hutch that sits atop the dresser are all still tacky. It might be a few days before I attach them to the hutch.

I was able to get a little of the painting done today, but I wasn't able to finish it. I didn't want to have to move the items I was painting, if they had wet paint on them, and we moved most of the stuff on the porch today to put up the tarps. We were going to try to use a single sheet of plastic, but when we felt the plastic we were concerned that it wasn't heavy duty enough to withstand the winds we might get. We decided to go with tarps instead.

I'm thrilled with how it all turned out. The wind had picked up some, and it had gotten significantly cooler in the time we were on the porch hanging tarps, but by the time we were finished, it felt much warmer on the porch than it did in the yard. The tarps seemed to cover quite well. We did overlap them a foot or so, so we won't have to worry about seams coming apart and stuff getting blown through them.

I'll try to post pictures tomorrow. I'm falling asleep as I type this.

Tomorrow then.

Why am I still awake? Sheesh.

Isn't it funny how the aches and pains you get from hard work feel so different than those aches and pains you have when you're sick? I'll take those that I earn, thankyouverymuch.

We got the entertainment center/bookcase finished up and put together in the basement today. It took awhile to get it together, because the top half of the unit comes apart. As in the 2 shelves, the 2 sides, the very top piece and the back. And while we didn't put the shelves in until after it was all assembled, we'd forgotten how difficult it can be to get the other 4 pieces put together and squared up. We had gotten it all together and then had to install the stabilizing bar that also squares it up to the back of it. It took a few minutes before we got the top of it square enough we could line the screw holes up for the stabilizing bar. We eventually got it, though, and I'm thrilled with how it looks. I'll be taking pictures soon and posting them. I'll probably wait until I get the other little unit done and downstairs, though. It may be as soon as tomorrow.

I was able to get the first coat of the oil based paint on the majority of stuff I have left to finish up. The doors for the hutch are a little tricky, if I want to paint the insides of them, because it means painting both sides, which would take 2 days per side to finish up. I just got day 1 out of the way on them. I guess I have to figure out whether or not I need to paint the other side. It won't show unless the doors are open, so it's not entirely necessary. Hmmm. What to do. What to do.

I was also able to get the primer on the back of the headboard we'll be cutting down to use as a footboard and the second coat of primer on the last piece of Bugster's old doll furniture I'm painting for Scooter. While I may not get these two pieces finished up tomorrow, I should be able to finish everything else, and I'll put the last coat on the footboard and doll furniture later in the week. The temperature is supposed to be 20 to 30 degrees cooler Monday than it is tomorrow, and it won't warm up until the end of the week. If there's anyway I can finish them up sooner, I will.

I was thrilled to be able to get one last thing finished up today. Several years ago, we were given a super heavy duty air cleaner/purifier. The people who gave it to us used it to clean the air in their home where they bred birds. When I brought it home, I took it apart and vacuumed it thoroughly. I've taken it apart a few times and cleaned it out with the vacuum over the years, but it needed it again. We'd had it on full blast when the basement was being drywalled and textured. It was absolutely full of dust. So I pulled it apart and used the air hose on it until I no longer saw any dust coming out of the filter. It took about 20 minutes. Did I mention it was really dusty?

Now that it's clean and ready to use, it will be turned on full blast to run for a week or two downstairs. It does a pretty good job at removing odors in the air, so I'm hoping it means we can bring in the furniture I've painted for the basement, even though it still smells a bit of the oil based paint. We'll let it run for a few days with just the bookshelf/entertainment center down there and see, if it makes a difference. I'm really hoping it will.

I really should be in bed by now. I've got so much I'd like to do tomorrow. Not only do I have finish up my painting projects, but we'll be hanging new plastic on the porch, too. What we have out there right now is a hodge podge of different sizes of plastic and a couple of tarps. Unfortunately, it's not real conducive to keeping the dust out, because the plastic flaps apart where it overlaps with the next piece.

The Hubster bought some plastic today that is 10ft wide by 100ft long. We will only use about half of it, but it will be so nice to know that it will cover from floor to ceiling and all the way around in a single piece. Not only will it keep the dust out, but it will keep the rain and snow out, so we should be able to use the porch as a work shop all winter. We might not be doing a lot of painting, but if we need to use the table saw or the router, we'll have a fairly good place to do so. And if nothing else, we'll have a covered, dry place to store some of the stuff that's in the pod until we can get to it.

Works for me.

Just a stressful day in the neighborhood.

The Hubster helped me on the porch today. He helped me get the bookcase/entertainment center dry fit together. We won't put it together permanently until we take it downstairs, but I'm thrilled, because it gives me so much more room on the porch for other painting projects. I didn't get around to putting the last coat of paint on the pieces that needed it, but I should be able to tomorrow, and it won't matter that it's dry fit together. The last few places that need touched up are just on the face of the bookshelf and the drawer, so painting them will be a snap.

I am thrilled that we got even more of the porch emptied off today. The Hubster has a workout station he can use to do pull ups and dips and other such exercises. The thing is a monstrosity. It's huge. It stands 7 ft tall and takes up an area on the floor that's over 3.5 ft square. I've had to work around it on the porch, because he uses it several times a week, but it's really been a bit of a nightmare.

Well. Nightmare no more! We took it apart today, because there is no way we could have taken it downstairs in fewer pieces than we did. While it was apart, I used a bucket of hot, soapy water and a scrub brush and scrubbed every nook and cranny. It was pretty muddy and dusty from having lived on the back porch the better of 3 years. Surprisingly, we only saw 1 spider, but I'm sure there were more lurking in crevices. So while the individual pieces were laid across the clotheslines to dry, he sprayed the thing with bug spray to hopefully keep any spiders from coming in and making it home for the next 12 months or so.

Once it was dry, Hubster dragged it downstairs piece by piece and brought it into the workout room. It took some finagling to get the holes lined up to get the bolts back in, but we finally got the thing together. When we were done, he took the Ab Lounger out of the plastic it's been stored in for the last couple of years and put it in the only remaining floor space in the workout room. We will now be able to use all of the workout equipment we have, such as it is.

I'm thrilled. Seriously.

After doing the dishes this morning, I boiled the rest of a 10 pound bag of potatoes. Unfortunately, there were a few that had started to go bad, so they went into the compost bin. The other 7 pounds or so were boiled, peeled and either diced to use for breakfast burritos or made into a potato salad for tomorrow. It's really nice to have them out of the way. Besides. The tater salad tastes good. Looking forward to lunch tomorrow.

It doesn't sound like a lot was done, but we were busy all day long. I even got in a few crunches on the Ab Lounge and 15 minutes on the treadmill.

Oh. And we got the call from the appraiser. She'll be out on Tuesday.

I may just use that time to go get my expired driver's license renewed. It needs done before the refinancing happens anyway, and it would get me out of here, if my stress level gets too high.

It's already on the rise.

Yay. Progress!

I'm so excited. Today I made headway for the first time in a very long time.

Today was an early release day at school, and Frank came over to make a little money for the upcoming dance. He was here almost 5 hours, so we got a lot accomplished.

Several weeks ago, The Hubster and I put bamboo shades (although these are plastic and not actually bamboo) around the porch to basically enclose it. Having the shades up will prevent rain and dust from wreaking havoc like it has so much in the last several years. We literally scooped up gallons of dirt out there during the course of cleaning the porch, and the shades will help keep the dust/dirt level to a minimum which will make painting the furniture I need to finish painting much easier.

The only problem we had was that the shades blew around a lot and still allowed a lot of dust onto the porch. They helped stop the rain fairly well, but the dust was a different story. So today, Frank helped me secure the shades to the concrete. My husband and I worked on putting eye hooks in the concrete a couple of weekends ago. We'd drilled holes in the concrete (I could have sworn I blogged about this before, but for the life of me, I can't find the post), put some cement repair stuff in the holes and then added the eye hooks. Once the eye hooks were in, we built up the concrete a little, so nobody would stub their toes on the hooks and left them to dry.

When Frank came over today, the first thing we worked on was securing the shades to the concrete. By now the concrete had fully cured, and the eye hooks were firmly in place. So we took some nylon cord and tied it to some small double ended hooks Hubster had picked up at the store for our project, and proceeded to tie them tight enough that the shades will hopefully be somewhat secure, if the wind blows. Once we had the tension right on each one, we burnt the ends of the knots, so they wouldn't come untied or unraveled. It took awhile to get done, but I'm thrilled they're finished. We should be able to unhook the shades and roll them up, if we want more sunlight or fresh air on the porch, but for now, I have a usable workspace for which I'm very grateful.

Once we were done with that, we worked on cutting shelves to go on the bookcase that will be used to house hubby's books. I had 5 oak plywood shelves that i was going to cut to make enough for extra shelving in the shelving unit we'd gotten for his books. I was able to cut some extra wood off 4 of the shelves to make them the right width and then cut the remaining 4 shelves in half for a total of 8 shelves for him to use. The other shelf I used to cut a shelf to go in my craft cupboards. I'm not sure, if I'll need more shelves in my craft cupboards or not, but at least we know where we can get more, if we need them and cutting them will be a breeze.

Frank acted as my muscle today and carried all the shelves back downstairs for me to save my back a little. I'm so thankful! I decided to wrap things up on the porch, because I wanted desperately to get the plastic off the carpet downstairs. It's been covered for the last year to try to keep it clean while we were working downstairs painting. It did it's job, so Frank helped me pick it all up and either throw it in the trash or fold it up to take home, so Bugster and Bubster don't have to buy drop cloths when they paint their home.

I also got a couple of loads of laundry done. I'd have kept going, if it weren't for my back. Even though Frank hauled stuff for me the entire time he was here to save my back, my back still screams in protest tonight. I'm hoping a good night's sleep will make for a productive day tomorrow.

I have so much to do!

And so it begins...

A typical school year starts out with the girls home sick for several days to a week or more within the first couple of weeks of school. This year, Scooter was home sick one day in the second week, but everything has started late with illnesses this year. We're starting the 4th week of school tomorrow, and the healthy streak around our house has finally ended.

Hopper, Scooter and I have all been feverish and had chills and tummy troubles today. It all started last night. Hopper slept most of the day today, which is what she does when she gets sick. And Scooter fell asleep on the couch yesterday in the middle of the day which is not typical of her at all. So it's very obvious they're worn out from being sick.

Unfortunately, I am, too. I've had no energy today, but my stomach is feeling better tonight. I'm hoping that I'll feel well enough tomorrow to get something accomplished, because I've had enough down time recently. I want to make some progress!

Yesterday we made some gains on the porch. We finished cleaning it off several weeks ago, but I've been using it as a workshop of sorts. It's been wonderful to be able to spread out some of the things I'm needing to paint to work on them. However, because it's technically a patio and not a porch, it's not enclosed, and dust can really fly when the wind picks up. Dust isn't really good for paint projects.

We decided to hang some outdoor bamboo shades to try to keep the dust level down and the repainting to a minimum. We hung some of them a few weeks ago, but we just finished hanging the others about 10 days ago. And while they've really helped keep the house cooler, they haven't done enough where the dust is concerned. We needed a way to anchor them to the ground, so they wouldn't sway and flip in the breeze and allow the dust in. We worked on that yesterday.

Hubster picked up a drill bit that could be used on concrete at the hardware store and some eyehooks. We already had some hydraulic cement powder (it can adhere guardrails to cement or patch holes in concrete walls to stop water leaks) at home that we just needed to mix with water, so we were ready to go. It took a lot longer than we anticipated, though, because it's not nearly as easy to drill into concrete as one might think. Drilling cement is also pretty hard on battery life.

Once all the holes were drilled, we put some of the cement we'd mixed up in and around the holes and screwed the eyehooks in place. We built up the cement just a little around the eyehooks for a couple of reasons. First, we figured it would help solidify the hooks in the cement a little better, and we wouldn't have to worry about the wind picking up and pulling them out. Second, we thought if we built them up a little around the eyehooks, it might be less damaging on a toe, if anyone ran into one of them. That's more of a probability than a possibility.

We finished the last hole as the mosquitoes were coming out, so we couldn't have timed it much better. And while most all of the eyehooks and holes were still curing by the time we stopped, we tested the first one we'd done, and it was very secure. By the time we get the string and clips we're using to secure the shades to the eyehooks, they'll be fully set, although it does say it cures in 3 to 5 minutes. The extra drying time isn't going to hurt a thing.

Hubster's brute strength was in overdrive yesterday, too. He had to carry the tables downstairs that I had painted. The bases are the on es my friend's little boys helped paint. They're cast iron and probably close to 75 pounds and very awkward. And the table tops, which are now bright white and look nothing like the pictures in the link, are probably about 45 pounds and also quite awkward. So he took two of the table bases and two table tops downstairs and got the 3rd table top out of the pod on the driveway, so I can work on painting it this week. It wouldn't have been difficult for him in the slightest, if they weren't so darn awkward. I'm very thankful I'm married to a strong man, because there is absolutely no way I could have moved them!

Add a few more loads of laundry to the mix, and we feel like we got something accomplished this weekend. We were pleased with that. Really glad we at least had that, since today seriously lacked accomplishment.

What a Sweetie!

Worked all afternoon and part of the evening on the back porch. I'd say we're close to 2/3 done with cleaning it off.

I filled up one trash can that had a really big trash bag in it. I thought the gargantuan bags were gone, so it surprised me. The typical ones we use are already oversized at 39 gallons, but the gargantuan bags are probably at least 18" longer. I pulled it out the rest of the way out of the can and filled it as much as i could before tying it shut. Then I filled another trash can lined with a 39 gallon bag all the way to the top and sent it on its way.

I'm not sure how many boxes I got through today, but it was enough to make a good sized dent in the mess. At least half a dozen, I'm sure. One box in particular took me off guard. There was something sort of yellowish, orangish brown and crumbly on several things, and I had no idea what it was. I threw most of the stuff in the box away, because I realized I really didn't want to deal with it, until I got to the bottom of the box.

There at the base of the box lay a pretty bright red and black teddy bear. It was one my parents had gotten for Hopper when she was younger. It's hair was somewhat long, had jointed limbs, and he was the prettiest Christmas red, not the orange-red of most toys. And right over his heart was a big glob of the yellowish, orangish, brownish crumbly stuff. Along with part of a beautiful yellow and black bumble bee.

It was the beginnings of a hive and the crumbly stuff was honey!

It was so bizarre. It was obvious that it wasn't a really successful hive, since there was only part of the bumble bee still there. Well. That and the fact that I wasn't attacked the moment I picked up the box! Still, it was interesting seeing the individual little sections where they'd tried to get a hive going in the middle of the teddy bear's heart. It was a little sad, too.

I'd thought about taking pictures, but the camera was in the house, and I just didn't want to interrupt myself. I was making good progress. I did blow the little red one out with the air hose to get as much dust out of his fur as possible. He was then relegated to the laundry room, where he will stay in his grocery bag until I can get him run through the wash. I figure that he'll either survive the wash and live happily ever after with Hopper, or he'll go in the trash, if he falls apart. At least I will have tried. After all. He is such a honey.

What?

Oh come on! It wasn't that bad!

You know it's rude to roll your eyes at me like that, don't you?

Fine.

On that note, I think I'll go to bed before you hurt my feelings anymore.

That. And I need copious amounts of sleep.