Lately, the more I get stuff done, the more I find myself wondering whether or not I really am a hoarder. So I'm so very glad I started this blog back in January. It allows me to remember the physical feelings I've experienced several times since starting this dehoarding process. It helps me to remember how incredibly hard it is to let go sometimes.
Most of all, though, it helps me to stay on task. Because I come here every night and have to really think about how I got in this position and the steps I'm taking to get out of it.
The other night, when I wrote about the tables, I started to add a label before publishing the post. However, before I did, I realized I wanted to link to another post. While looking for it, I saw my list of labels/tags that I've used. It's so incredibly long. Much longer than it should be.
I have such a hard time making decisions. It's a common trait among hoarders. I also have a real problem with getting distracted easily. I often get sidetracked by the silliest things. For example, say I'm working on paying bills, and I need to grab new check blanks, because I've used the last one. So I go in the other room to get one, but I have to use the bathroom, so I stop on my way to get the checks. While in the bathroom, I notice that the towels are dirty, so I go start a load of laundry downstairs.
But while I'm down there, the dryer is full of dry clothes, so I decide to fold them, so they won't get too wrinkled. On my way back upstairs, I pass through the kitchen, and I notice the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. So I start on it, but I don't finish, because I remember that I came in the other room in the first place to grab more check blanks. In the meantime, an hour or more can go by the time I realize that I'd left something in midstream. And it takes me several more hours before I make my way back to finish unloading the dishwasher.
And as much as I really want to clean up my list of labels, I think I'm going to leave it as a reminder to me that it's okay, if I have a tough time making decisions at times. The world isn't going to come to an end. My blog won't explode, if I don't clean it up and shorten the list of labels. And I have way more important things to do than worry about whether or not I have too many labels.
Not even going to discuss the number of labels and files I have in the filing cabinet. Not going to go there.
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.