I refuse to even think about it until Monday. Ok. So I'll probably be thinking about it on Sunday night, but I refuse to let the upcoming doctor's appointment rule my thoughts and my life. But I am a bit irritated.
I didn't read yesterday's mail until this morning. There was a letter from the imaging company who did the mammogram congratulating me on a 'normal' mammogram. It said nothing at all about the ultrasound. It did have the disclaimer that my doctor may still request extra testing or an examination by a breast specialist even with a normal mammogram.
That isn't the irritating part. I get that. I really do. But what irritates me is that they sent me something that said that my mammogram was totally NORMAL, but they sent totally different information to my doctor that said that a malignant neoplasm could not be ruled out. I don't equate that with 'normal' findings.
After I wrote my blog yesterday and spoke with an online friend who is a breast cancer survivor, I felt much better. Not quite afraid of what was under the bed. I feel much better knowing that I'll be getting answers soon - one way or the other. I'll be able to deal with whatever those answers end up being. Worrying won't change the results one way or the other, so I'm not going to stress over it.
The thing that really irritates me about this letter is it's irresponsibility. I'm sure that the vast majority of cases like mine end up being nothing. Just a temporary glitch in one's body. But what about those cases in the minority? Those cases where the patient gets the finding of a normal mammogram and don't follow up with their doctors. Those cases where the doctors go on vacation, and they don't read the report before they leave. Those cases where there actually is cancer, and it isn't caught, because some imaging company sent out findings of a normal mammogram.
How hard is it to just be honest in the letter? "Your mammogram *appeared* normal, but given the circumstances, the test could not rule out cancer. Please follow up with your doctor for further testing"? Which I guess in some ways is what the letter said, but it said it in such vague terms. They should do patients a favor and not sugar coat things.
They shouldn't open the letter with, "We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent mammography examination are NORMAL", if they're sending a letter to your doctor saying that they can't rule out cancer.
What a bunch of hogwash!
Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.