Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.

You can read the start of my journey here.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

What did I come in here for?

Today, I've been organizing. I need a permanent place for a few things that I use that don't really have a permanent home - things that come in a variety of sizes but can all be stored together - like labels/stickers and envelopes. So I was in the process of repurposing some cute little boxes that have been used for various things over the years. I got them labeled and filled, and was pleased with the result, except for black marker on the top of the one box.

I have a tendency to use things more readily, if they look nice, so I wanted to rid the box of the marks. I tried rubbing alcohol, and while it lightened the scribbles, it didn't remove them completely. I remembered that I had a sample of one of those little Magic Erasers which work wonders on things great and small and started to walk into the other room to get it.

I'm not sure, if it's the ADHD or if it's the curse of the 'middle age', but I took three steps and forgot what I was going in the other room to get! I had to retrace my thoughts. I didn't have to retrace my steps, since I'd taken so few, but gad that irritates me! I remembered right away what I was looking for, but it's such a pain to be so forgetful sometimes!

I refuse to make excuses for my house getting to its current state. Granted, a lot of it is situational, I'm sure. But I am afraid if I go down the road of saying that this contributed and that contributed to the mess that I'll fall into the trap of blaming everything else instead of my poor choices. So as much as I'd like to say, "I can't remember squat! No wonder my house looks like it does!!" I'm not going to. My house looks like it does, because I struggle with making decisions and letting things go. I have to take personal responsibility. I am responsible.

Things may slow me down, like the kids being ill, or my own illnesses or back injury, but I will not be permanently derailed. I will get this done. I owe it to my family. I owe it to myself.

On that note, I did get several boxes sorted last night. I'm working on more tonight. I'll be sorting more tomorrow when I get back from the doctor's with our youngest. She's been sick and/or feverish more often than not since she got the Swine Flu the first part of October. I'm looking forward to getting answers! I'm also looking forward to making some more progress.

All in due time.

Now. What did I come in here for?


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