I think I've been bitten by a stomach bug. I have not felt well for the last couple of days. I'm hoping that sleep will help, so I'm going to go to be going to bed really early tonight.
I haven't made near the progress I would like to make in the last couple of days, but I understand there will be days like this. It happens, because life happens.
I was able to get the second coat of paint on the table tops today. I was going to yesterday, but it was too windy to paint. I think they'll need a third coat of paint to make sure everything is nice and even, but I'm thrilled with how nice they're going to look. They look so much better in a solid bright white than they did with what looked like placemats painted on them. They'd have been great with a checkerboard pattern on them, and I suppose I could still do that around the edges, but I don't want to take the time right now. Maybe someday. In the meantime, I'm happy with them being white. I'll probably put the last coat on them Thursday and give them a few extra hours to dry thoroughly between now and then.
Right now, I'm just going to go to bed. Maybe if I get enough sleep tonight, I'll feel more capable tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
On the wings of a shiny green fly?
On yesterday's post, I received the following comment:
BinaryPhoenix said... I'm late to the party - I found your blog a few days ago, and it's taken me a couple of days to read through and catch up to this point. I just have to say, that you are an amazing inspiration to more people than you know.
I thought you might find it interesting that I was referred to your blog by someone I met through www.flylady.net. Have you heard of it? It is an entire site dedicated to decluttering and establishing daily habits and cleaning routines. The friend that referred me forwarded your blog to several others in my area who are members of the site, and I thought you might enjoy checking it out. I've been a member for several years, but I've never found the inspiration there that I've found right here on your blog. While I myself am not to the point that you are at, I have noticed hoarding tendencies in myself (lets just say I have to force myself to stay away from craft shops and pet shops), and you inspire me to do better at keeping junk out of my house. So thanks for that.
I left off the last little bit of the comment to keep it relevant to today's post.
First of all, thank you for your incredibly kind words and for taking the time to read through my entire blog! As far as long comments? They're not a problem at all! I appreciate it, and if it were not for the support that I've received from people who have left comments and have followed me for so many months, I don't know how successful I'd be in this journey. Don't get me wrong. I would still work as hard as I could, but I can't explain how much the support I've received buoys me, so I wonder, if I would be able to push myself as hard, if it weren't for all my cheerleaders.
At the same time, I am writing this blog for myself, because it is nothing short of therapy for me. I often don't even know what I'm feeling until I start writing, and I owe it to myself and my family to write for me. It's the only way out. And I know that my supporters all know this, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you!
On to today's post...
I've had several people ask me, if I have used flylady, and I have in the past. However, I do not currently subscribe.
I think it's an amazing tool for those with general organization and clutter issues, and for cleaning tips. But for me, it was absolutely overwhelming and stressful.
I was receiving email upon email that told me what I should be doing, and over and over I felt like I wasn't living up to expectations. Granted, they weren't expectations that my family had placed on me, or that I had intentionally placed upon myself. But I felt the full weight of those expectations as certainly as I would feel a 100 pound bag of rice draped across my shoulders. I felt like I literally couldn't breathe from the guilt of my failures.
Early on in my blog, I touched on how too many emails were cluttering up my mind. That they were hanging over my head. And as odd as this may sound, I literally felt them over my right shoulder. It's peculiar, I know, but when I think of emails, they're always over my right shoulder. When I think of laundry, it's usually down in front of me on the floor ready to trip me up. Going out of the house for shopping, doctor's appointments and the like is always over my left shoulder. Birthdays and other important dates are directly behind me.
The hoarding has always been a huge, thick, dark gray cloud hanging over my head. It's enormous, and I could hardly see the edges in the far off distance. There were no rays of sunshine or hope making their way through little openings in the cloud. It was an ominous presence that loomed at all times.
I think it's probably odd that when I think of certain things I feel them in certain areas around my body. I've never asked anyone else, if they feel the things they're thinking of in a physical sense, but it can be exhausting feeling boxed in. Every single time I got a new email, the load over my right shoulder got a little heavier. And the emails I received from flylady added to the oppression.
Being a hoarder, I have always had such a problem getting rid of things I might use at a later date. It's a common thing. So I had the hardest time in the world deleting the flylady emails, because I knew that I really should be able to use that information to help me get my act together and get my house cleaned. So hundreds of emails piled up in my inbox and the weight upon my shoulders got so heavy I couldn't think straight.
One day, in a moment of clarity, I realized flylady was not helping me but was instead crippling me. I unsubscribed from the local and national groups and proceeded to delete the mountains of emails I had accumulated. It is not that I found no worth in flylady, but that I found too much. Eventually, I will likely find my way back to flylady but not until I have finished dehoarding, and only if I find that I need it at that time. If it feels like I'm spending more time sorting through emails than implementing the advice, I will once again walk away.
Although the hoarding cloud still looms to this day, I've noticed that the periphery seems closer than it ever has before. The cloud is not quite as dark as it's been in the past either.
And every once in awhile I see the occasional ray of sunshine filtering through.
BinaryPhoenix said... I'm late to the party - I found your blog a few days ago, and it's taken me a couple of days to read through and catch up to this point. I just have to say, that you are an amazing inspiration to more people than you know.
I thought you might find it interesting that I was referred to your blog by someone I met through www.flylady.net. Have you heard of it? It is an entire site dedicated to decluttering and establishing daily habits and cleaning routines. The friend that referred me forwarded your blog to several others in my area who are members of the site, and I thought you might enjoy checking it out. I've been a member for several years, but I've never found the inspiration there that I've found right here on your blog. While I myself am not to the point that you are at, I have noticed hoarding tendencies in myself (lets just say I have to force myself to stay away from craft shops and pet shops), and you inspire me to do better at keeping junk out of my house. So thanks for that.
I left off the last little bit of the comment to keep it relevant to today's post.
First of all, thank you for your incredibly kind words and for taking the time to read through my entire blog! As far as long comments? They're not a problem at all! I appreciate it, and if it were not for the support that I've received from people who have left comments and have followed me for so many months, I don't know how successful I'd be in this journey. Don't get me wrong. I would still work as hard as I could, but I can't explain how much the support I've received buoys me, so I wonder, if I would be able to push myself as hard, if it weren't for all my cheerleaders.
At the same time, I am writing this blog for myself, because it is nothing short of therapy for me. I often don't even know what I'm feeling until I start writing, and I owe it to myself and my family to write for me. It's the only way out. And I know that my supporters all know this, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you!
On to today's post...
I've had several people ask me, if I have used flylady, and I have in the past. However, I do not currently subscribe.
I think it's an amazing tool for those with general organization and clutter issues, and for cleaning tips. But for me, it was absolutely overwhelming and stressful.
I was receiving email upon email that told me what I should be doing, and over and over I felt like I wasn't living up to expectations. Granted, they weren't expectations that my family had placed on me, or that I had intentionally placed upon myself. But I felt the full weight of those expectations as certainly as I would feel a 100 pound bag of rice draped across my shoulders. I felt like I literally couldn't breathe from the guilt of my failures.
Early on in my blog, I touched on how too many emails were cluttering up my mind. That they were hanging over my head. And as odd as this may sound, I literally felt them over my right shoulder. It's peculiar, I know, but when I think of emails, they're always over my right shoulder. When I think of laundry, it's usually down in front of me on the floor ready to trip me up. Going out of the house for shopping, doctor's appointments and the like is always over my left shoulder. Birthdays and other important dates are directly behind me.
The hoarding has always been a huge, thick, dark gray cloud hanging over my head. It's enormous, and I could hardly see the edges in the far off distance. There were no rays of sunshine or hope making their way through little openings in the cloud. It was an ominous presence that loomed at all times.
I think it's probably odd that when I think of certain things I feel them in certain areas around my body. I've never asked anyone else, if they feel the things they're thinking of in a physical sense, but it can be exhausting feeling boxed in. Every single time I got a new email, the load over my right shoulder got a little heavier. And the emails I received from flylady added to the oppression.
Being a hoarder, I have always had such a problem getting rid of things I might use at a later date. It's a common thing. So I had the hardest time in the world deleting the flylady emails, because I knew that I really should be able to use that information to help me get my act together and get my house cleaned. So hundreds of emails piled up in my inbox and the weight upon my shoulders got so heavy I couldn't think straight.
One day, in a moment of clarity, I realized flylady was not helping me but was instead crippling me. I unsubscribed from the local and national groups and proceeded to delete the mountains of emails I had accumulated. It is not that I found no worth in flylady, but that I found too much. Eventually, I will likely find my way back to flylady but not until I have finished dehoarding, and only if I find that I need it at that time. If it feels like I'm spending more time sorting through emails than implementing the advice, I will once again walk away.
Although the hoarding cloud still looms to this day, I've noticed that the periphery seems closer than it ever has before. The cloud is not quite as dark as it's been in the past either.
And every once in awhile I see the occasional ray of sunshine filtering through.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Yield not to calamity, but face her boldly. -Virgil
Took the day off today from any major dehoarding. I just got the kitchen cleaned, the refrigerator wiped out, disposed of anything old in the fridge, and ran the dishwasher twice, so I felt good at least getting something done.
Had the kids, (Bugster, Bubster and Frank) over for dinner. I made 10 layer burritos for supper. They were a real hit. I wish they weren't quite as time consuming to make after a long day. I suppose they're not really that time consuming. They just feel that way with a sore back. They're an inexpensive and healthy way to enjoy a fast food alternative.
For anyone who wants to try it:
LaFavorita tortillas. (They're by far the best store bought tortillas, as they're soft and pliable and taste homemade.)
Layers:
1:Fat free refried beans with green chile and lime
2:Browned ground turkey with burrito seasoning
3:Rice (white or brown)
4:Diced tomatoes with green chilies (I use canned for burritos, because they add a little extra moisture to the mix, but I use fresh tomatoes for tacos.)
5:Fresh diced onions
6:Fresh bell pepper sliced thin (I used an orange bell from the garden today.)
7:Fresh banana pepper sliced thin (again from our garden)
8:Diced boiled potatoes
9:Fat free sour cream (Used Greek yogurt for hubby's burritos, because he can't eat sour cream while on the antibiotics for TB exposure.)
10:Shredded cheddar cheese
Once the burritos are loaded and folded (fold sides first then turn and fold ends in) place them opening side down in preheated skillet sprayed with cooking spray. They get a nice crispiness to them that's to die for. They're just...well...yummy. You can really add as many or as few ingredients as you'd like. We just like a lot. One burrito is typically a full meal, although I can never finish mine.
That's what husbands are for.
You can also wrap them in tin foil and grill them to get them crispy. I just prefer using the skillet, because I'm not as apt to watch them closely enough to keep them from burning on the barbie.
I cooked up enough turkey burger and have enough potatoes left that I'm going to make breakfast burritos tomorrow and wrap them individually to use later. It will be handy to be able to take them out of the freezer in the morning and have a decent breakfast for the girls before school. They will just be turkey burger, eggs, potatoes, sour cream and cheese. I know the girls will love having a nice meal like this before school, and we'll love the convenience and ease.
Before they came over, Calamity came by Bugster and Bubster's house to spend some time with Frank. It was a disaster as usual. Within 10 minutes, she started asking Bugster, if she could do a load of laundry, when she knew that the kids had specifically said they do not want her doing her laundry at their house. They have had to have set firm limits with her, because if you give her an inch, she'll take a mile. Thankfully, Bubster took her aside and told her that she would not be washing laundry at their house, and that it was unfair for her to put Bugster in the position of saying no each time, because they've already had this discussion repeatedly. The answer will always be, "No!"
She said she was having problems breathing around the kids' cats, so she didn't want to stick around their house. She asked Frank to go for a ride with her instead, so she could breathe. Then, instead of actually driving around with Frank, she drove over to her boyfriend's and spent no time with the poor kid at all. She hadn't seen Frank in over a month, and then the time she spent with him today wasn't with him but with her boyfriend instead. Within an hour she insisted Bugster come pick him up, because it was "a waste of gas to drive him back" to their house.
It's just such a sad situation. And now that she knows they're coming over here most weekends to spend time with us, she insists she'll be coming over every weekend to try to insinuate herself into their lives. Hopefully, the kids can figure out how best to handle the situation. It may mean setting much firmer limits. I don't envy them, but I am so incredibly proud of both of them.
They've been thrust into such an indefensible situation, yet they're rising to the challenge better than adults twice their ages. I stand in awe of their courage and determination.
They are my heroes.
Oh. The quote by Virgil? Bugster found that today. Couldn't fit the situation much better, could it?
Had the kids, (Bugster, Bubster and Frank) over for dinner. I made 10 layer burritos for supper. They were a real hit. I wish they weren't quite as time consuming to make after a long day. I suppose they're not really that time consuming. They just feel that way with a sore back. They're an inexpensive and healthy way to enjoy a fast food alternative.
For anyone who wants to try it:
LaFavorita tortillas. (They're by far the best store bought tortillas, as they're soft and pliable and taste homemade.)
Layers:
1:Fat free refried beans with green chile and lime
2:Browned ground turkey with burrito seasoning
3:Rice (white or brown)
4:Diced tomatoes with green chilies (I use canned for burritos, because they add a little extra moisture to the mix, but I use fresh tomatoes for tacos.)
5:Fresh diced onions
6:Fresh bell pepper sliced thin (I used an orange bell from the garden today.)
7:Fresh banana pepper sliced thin (again from our garden)
8:Diced boiled potatoes
9:Fat free sour cream (Used Greek yogurt for hubby's burritos, because he can't eat sour cream while on the antibiotics for TB exposure.)
10:Shredded cheddar cheese
Once the burritos are loaded and folded (fold sides first then turn and fold ends in) place them opening side down in preheated skillet sprayed with cooking spray. They get a nice crispiness to them that's to die for. They're just...well...yummy. You can really add as many or as few ingredients as you'd like. We just like a lot. One burrito is typically a full meal, although I can never finish mine.
That's what husbands are for.
You can also wrap them in tin foil and grill them to get them crispy. I just prefer using the skillet, because I'm not as apt to watch them closely enough to keep them from burning on the barbie.
I cooked up enough turkey burger and have enough potatoes left that I'm going to make breakfast burritos tomorrow and wrap them individually to use later. It will be handy to be able to take them out of the freezer in the morning and have a decent breakfast for the girls before school. They will just be turkey burger, eggs, potatoes, sour cream and cheese. I know the girls will love having a nice meal like this before school, and we'll love the convenience and ease.
Before they came over, Calamity came by Bugster and Bubster's house to spend some time with Frank. It was a disaster as usual. Within 10 minutes, she started asking Bugster, if she could do a load of laundry, when she knew that the kids had specifically said they do not want her doing her laundry at their house. They have had to have set firm limits with her, because if you give her an inch, she'll take a mile. Thankfully, Bubster took her aside and told her that she would not be washing laundry at their house, and that it was unfair for her to put Bugster in the position of saying no each time, because they've already had this discussion repeatedly. The answer will always be, "No!"
She said she was having problems breathing around the kids' cats, so she didn't want to stick around their house. She asked Frank to go for a ride with her instead, so she could breathe. Then, instead of actually driving around with Frank, she drove over to her boyfriend's and spent no time with the poor kid at all. She hadn't seen Frank in over a month, and then the time she spent with him today wasn't with him but with her boyfriend instead. Within an hour she insisted Bugster come pick him up, because it was "a waste of gas to drive him back" to their house.
It's just such a sad situation. And now that she knows they're coming over here most weekends to spend time with us, she insists she'll be coming over every weekend to try to insinuate herself into their lives. Hopefully, the kids can figure out how best to handle the situation. It may mean setting much firmer limits. I don't envy them, but I am so incredibly proud of both of them.
They've been thrust into such an indefensible situation, yet they're rising to the challenge better than adults twice their ages. I stand in awe of their courage and determination.
They are my heroes.
Oh. The quote by Virgil? Bugster found that today. Couldn't fit the situation much better, could it?
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