Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.

You can read the start of my journey here.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Motoring

Four and a half years ago when I started this blog, after watching my first episode of Hoaders, I remember looking for other hoarding blogs. I know I've written about it once or twice and how disappointing it was that they didn't keep up with their blogging. It made me think that perhaps they weren't successful with dehoarding their homes and getting their lives back together. Had they stopped blogging, because they had fallen off the wagon, so to speak, and were just embarrassed to come back and admit it? It saddened and concerned me. It made me wonder, if I'd ever be able to get it all done myself. 

It didn't dawn on me that perhaps blogging got to be too much for those who had started their journeys and that life won out. At least it didn't dawn on me until it happened to me.

The last several months have been full of, well, life. That, and my computer died on me. So I'm actually borrowing Bugster's computer for the day, so I could peruse the internet for awhile and drop by for a quick blog post.

Since Hubster had his gallbladder out back in March, our lives have been filled with all sorts of everything. 

Scooter's had some health issues that caused liver and spleen enlargement, (We never did find out the cause, but she's doing much better now.), she graduated from high school, and she's now going to her day program 5 days a week, and is thrilled she didn't have to start school last week with the rest of the students in the district! 

Hopper has done very well. A year ago, we took her in for a surgery consultation. The doctor was willing to do the surgery, but she wanted Hopper to lose some weight, so the insurance company would be more willing to approve the surgery. She's lost 29 pounds, (12 of which she'd gained in the previous year due to some medication she was taking), and the surgery is a go. We just barely got approval for it a few weeks ago, but we are beyond thrilled that she will be able to have this surgery! It will be life-changing for her. The downside of this is that her anxiety is quite high while she awaits the surgery scheduled for the end of October. 

I definitely added to her stress level. The last 2 weeks of July, I was in class for 8 hours a day to become a CNA. Hopper doesn't do well at all with change, so for me to not be home during the day was very difficult for her, in spite of the fact that I was always here with the girls in the evenings. The days were long, though. The girls' hours were extended at the day program for those 2 weeks, and it just took its toll. It was wonderful getting out of the house, being back in the school setting, and meeting people, but it was also exhausting. Still, I would do it all again in a heartbeat! 

Unfortunately, it's brought out the worst in my fibromyalgia. I've been in the worst flare I've had since I was diagnosed with it 6 years ago. It doesn't help that I ran out of some of the things that help when it gets out of control. Thankfully, they should be here tomorrow, so I will, hopefully, be fully functioning again soon. And thankfully, we haven't had any major wildfires this year, so my asthma is under much better control than it was a year ago. I'm still on a small amount of daily oral steroids, but I should be done with them shortly, so things are looking up.

I'm looking forward to taking my state test, so I can get my license and be hired on to be the girls official caretaker. It will be really odd to have an income for the first time in our 28 year marriage. It's not that I wasn't allowed to work outside the home. Hubster's not like that. I'm not, either. If he had said that he didn't allow me to work outside the home, my first stop would have been to flood the market with job applications. But I can't think of a single job where I'd have been able to call in and say, "Yeah. I need the next 3 weeks off... Hopper and Scooter have another cold." So this will be a life-changing thing for our family, and I'm looking forward to the freedom it will allow us.

Now to answer my original question. Have I left my blog, because I'd fallen off the dehoarding wagon and was too embarrassed to admit it, or has life just been overly full?

I'd like to think it's mostly that life just got in the way. While the dehoarding has taken a backseat to life, it's still in the car, and we're still putting along.

6 comments:

  1. Glad to hear that there are some POSITIVES taking place. :0)
    Is this program you are working to get your CNA for sponsored by your state?
    I too am taking breaks from my blog. Nothing in life stays the same and I am in a happy place in my life and the days are flying past.
    Finding the time to blog after reading blogs and living my life comes harder now. Which, is a good thing.
    It was good to hear from you. Much luck in getting your CNA.
    (((hugs)))

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    1. Hi Female!

      I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond to your comment! Things have been incredibly busy around here, but still...shame on me!

      I'm not really sure how to answer your question...

      The girls both require CNA services due to their disabilities. So someone would have to be their CNA, if I wasn't. The state pays for their CNA services, but I am not directly employed by the state, and we paid for my CNA training ourselves. I am employed by a company that overseas my performance. I have regular contact with them, and I have to directly report to my nurse. That nurse also comes out every 60 days to check on the girls, or sooner, if needed. She's been out to check on the girls a few times while they've recovered from surgery.

      I'm not sure, if that answered your question, or not, but hopefully, it helped! :)

      Thank you for your well wishes! :)

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  2. Nice to hear from you , life does indeed get in the way for all of us. I hope it comes together for you and you can pop by from time to time

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    1. Hi Fern!

      Thank you! I am hoping to get back into more regular blogging when things slow down a bit! :)

      Hope you're doing well! :)

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  3. The thing about hoarding that they don't say in the shows is that it took years for it to get *there* and YEARS, sometimes a lifetime to get out of. It's kind of like credit card debt. :) Life has a habit of getting into everyone's grand plan. (raises hand) Living proof right here as well. Thanks for the update!! Congrats on the new career, and the kids successes!

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  4. You're right, Juli! It did take years to build up, and it will take time to get it all cleaned out. But it *will* happen! Including the whole getting out of debt thing! :) And thank you!

    Please forgive me that I didn't notice this comment to be able to approve it until now! Only 4 months late, but I finally found it! Thanks again! :)

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