Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.

You can read the start of my journey here.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Of Dying Frogs and Honey.

Lately, I've had the worst time trying to concentrate. It's as though someone is sitting on the remote that controls my thoughts and their butt is sitting squarely on the + button causing the channels to change at a dizzying pace, all the while an elephant sits squarely on my chest making breathing close to an impossibility. I have to remind myself that the elephant will eventually get bored and will move on, but for now nebulizers are the only thing that helps, and they don't last nearly as long as I'd like them to. This junk that Hopper brought home and decided to so generously share with Scooter, Hubster and me is awful. I'm hoping the stupid elephant clears out soon and takes whoever is sitting on the remote with him. 

The last few days, I've worked on things that are on my master list that don't take too much energy. I've mended, altered, and added new elastic to a dozen or so of Scooter's skirts. She's thrilled, because she absolutely adores skirts, but I really do need to get it finished up soon, so I can reclaim the kitchen table for meals once again. It's harder to get anything done with the girls home sick, but ...(this sentence was interrupted by the need to clean up the remains of a wall plaque my parents got me that was broken by Scooter in a fit of irritation)...I'm hoping to finish them up tonight when they finally go to bed.

I feel horrible that I made Scooter feel bad about breaking it when I yelled at her. She has this habit of intentionally breaking things when she's not happy. She's done everything from chucking dishes across the room to bending/tearing toys in two, to ripping her necklaces and bracelets that she absolutely loves into pieces when she's angry. It's been very frustrating for all of us. She also has a habit of going over to a hanging plant we have in the living room and pushing it so it swings when she's irritated. And I don't think Scooter broke the plaque on purpose, but I think she figured she'd make it swing like she makes the plant swing back and forth when she's mad. To be fair, she isn't feeling well today, but I really do wish there was a way we could curb this behavior. We've been dealing with it for 20 years now, and although she's gotten better and not doing it all the time, she still can wreak havoc when she's riled. She apparently has her mama's temper from what I understand. 

My younger self pleads the fifth at the mere suggestion.

When I talked to Bugster the other day, she said I sounded like a dying frog. I feel like one, too. And the only thing that seems to quell the cough is honey. 

So I'm off to feed the frog.

8 comments:

  1. Feel better. Youngest used to do that as well. Once he was Gluten free, the behavior stopped. (Generally speaking the glutens leached into his brain and acted as a dopamine for the synapses that controlled impulse) It was scary at times though, how much damage he could cause when irritated.

    We were talking the other day about it, and he still feels guilty for all the things he destroyed, simply because he is/was wired different. Looking back it was really hard (and expensive). I can't imagine 20 years...

    (((HUGS)))

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    1. I'm glad you found an answer for your son's behavior problem, Juli!

      Thankfully, she's outgrown the behavior for the most part, but she's struggling with PMS in a 36 font! And she just doesn't know how to say that she's moody, achy, and emotional like we can, so she acts out. Most of the time, she really is in a good mood and is sorry when she loses it. And thankfully, I don't typically handle it like I did yesterday!

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  2. oh man! hope you are on the mend soon, I too sound like a sick frog these days tough bug it has been!

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    1. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well, either, Fern! This stuff is horrible! Both my sister and my niece ended up with pneumonia after having it, so I'll be paying attention to how the girls and I are handling it. Feel better soon!

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  3. Lovely to see you again! So sorry to hear you've got a winter bug. Not fun at all. My youngest two have something and I'm not sure what it is. It's like they are extremely congested, but there's hardly any sign of whatever they are plugged up by, except for the other day the youngest had something come out of her tear duct making me think she had pink eye, only it was not and now instead just seems that instead of coming out her nose it came out her eye. lovely. She's had a fever too.

    It's so hard to teach more acceptable ways to deal with anger and frustration. My 2 1/2 year old has just decided hitting is the most effective response. and it is effective, just not in the way she expected I think. The joy of parenting!

    How you are all well quickly!

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    1. It's great to see you again, too, Abigail! I'm sorry your little one has been so sick! :( That just sounds awful!

      And yeah. Scooter went through several different physical phases to get her point across from hitting herself, to hitting others, to pulling hair to pinching. It's all so exhausting, so I'm glad we've gotten through them unscathed for the most part! :)

      Nice seeing you again!

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  4. Also glad to see you back! And I just had to say I loved your analogies. :)

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    1. Thanks for the welcome back, April! :) Writing again feels like I'm coming home!

      And thanks. I have the strangest things that come into my head, and sometimes they just have to come out.

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