Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.

You can read the start of my journey here.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Clarifications and then some.

I feel I need to clarify something about yesterday's post.

It was very difficult to admit I was having such difficulty dealing with the loss of my dream of our daughter's wedding. I knew I'd been having problems with it for some time, but I had no idea what the problem was. I just knew that every time Bugster would want to talk about the more formal wedding ceremony that they'll be having sometime next year, I would either get irritated or start crying. And I had no idea what the problem was.

Shortly after I went through dealing with the tote of yard toys, Bugster and I were on the phone. She started asking me questions about next year's celebration, and I got a huge lump in my throat, but I didn't have any idea what triggered it. So I told her I needed to get off the phone. That I couldn't talk about the wedding right then, and that I'd talk to her later.

She asked what was wrong. I told her I had no idea. I didn't. I had no clue. I told her that I wasn't sure what it was, but that I would be blogging about it, because I knew I had to deal with things. So she did know the post was coming, but neither of us knew what was wrong. And as I started to write my post, I realized there was a lot that I hadn't dealt with, and it seemingly came from nowhere.

I just knew that whatever it was that was wrong I needed to face. It is totally unfair to Bugster for me to cry or get irritable every time she brings up next year's 'shindig', as she calls it. I'm sure she would eventually pick up on the fact that it happened every time the wedding was brought up. It would take all the fun out of any dreams that she had for their ceremony next year, and it would not be fair. At all.

So I faced it. And I feel bad for Bugster being sad that I was sad, but I'm okay now. Really. And we were able to talk a bit, and we're both fine, and we're on to planning next year's wedding. And she sprung it on me tonight that *I* am responsible for making the wedding cake! I'm not sure, how I'll do it, or if I'll try to do something along the line of the one I made this year for them. Next year, I'll definitely start planning it more than a week before the wedding, though. And I'll do what I can to practice on birthday cakes, so I can do the best job I'm capable of doing. I just hope it lives up to her (and my) expectations.

So there you have it. Things turned out quite well, and I'm feeling much better than I was when I wrote yesterday's post.

Actually, *better* is a bit of a subjective term.

I did accomplish quite a bit out on the porch today, but I just wanted to get busy, so I decided to forgo the shower. Yeah. We all know where this is leading, don't we?

I'd gone downstairs to start yet another load of laundry from the 'last 9 years pile' when I discovered water all over the laundry room floor. We have sewer back ups from time to time, so I assumed it was the sewer backing up. The spot on the floor was right near the drain, and the swath it cut was the appropriate size for a sewer backup, so I called the emergency number for the water district. They came out and checked the lines in the street. Unfortunately, this is something that happens at least once a year, sometimes 3 times a year.

They cleared the line, even though things didn't appear to be blocked as a precaution, and I appreciate it ever so much. They did ask, though, if I would please run the washing machine on a rinse/spin cycle, so I could see, if the water was still coming up from the drain. So I ran downstairs, turned the washing machine on, and glanced over at the floor again.

I was surprised to see that the water hadn't drained very well. It looked almost like there was a leak, because the water was still pooled in areas. When I looked a little closer, I noticed water dripping off the water heater. Actually, it wasn't quite dripping. It was running. We looked up the symptoms after we sent the water district employees on their way, and it appears to be the pressure valve.

And while a pressure valve isn't all that expensive, the heater is already 9.5 or 10 years old. So we really probably shouldn't put any money into trying to fix it, since the average life of a water heater is only 10 years anyway. So we've got that going for us.

Oh. Yeah. The point I started to make earlier?

I didn't get my shower today.

Oh joy.


  1. If you lived here in civilization, I'd let you take a shower at my house.

    And I'm glad you were able to talk things over with your daughter.

  2. Glad you and the bugster sorted it all out , I was sure you would , you seem like a very grounded family who can talk well with each other. Too bad about the water heater, mine is a bunch older than that and when it goes, its gonna be a trainwreck!

  3. I know, right? One thing always leads to another. What would it be like to take a deep breath and NOT have to hold it. To just let it out and relax.

  4. I find decluttering clears my soul, too..

  5. I'm happy you and Bugster were able to talk things through, and I hope the "shindig" is all that you and her hope it will be!!

  6. Thanks. We're really glad we had the opportunity to talk and work everything out, too. I can now talk about their shindig next year without feelings of irritation or sadness. Great amounts of progress have been made. I think I just needed to acknowledge the way I was feeling.


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