Hello Darkness, My Old Friend. It's Getting Cold In Here Again.

Our kitchen is small. Like postage stamp sized small. We have only the cupboard under the sink and one tiny side cupboard that make up the bottom bank of cabinets. The top cabinets include one double cabinet over the island, (that holds the tiny side cupboard and the dishwasher), a regular size cabinet to the left of the sink, 2 small cabinets that share the corner to the right of the sink, and a bank of small baskets that go above the stove and refrigerator. Did I mention it's small?

There is no pantry. We have a shelf pot rack hung on the wall to hang our pots and pans when not in use, a baker's rack that holds the microwave oven and some small appliances in the cupboard underneath, and a big hotel armoire with four large drawers as storage. We call the armoire the "pantry" just as a way to identify it to one another. And while it holds quite a bit, it really is not nearly as convenient as a walk in pantry would be. One day, I hope that we can build one just off the kitchen in the garage. If we ever do, I would ensure it was large enough to hold a spare refrigerator, all of the small appliances that are in the laundry room, because we don't use them that often, so they haven't made the list to stay upstairs, and the upright freezer we have downstairs. 

Because, let's face it. It's not convenient to have the freezer downstairs. It's also not convenient to have to go down there to get extra paper towels, the waffle iron, or the syrup, and it makes putting groceries away great fun. We definitely get our exercise when we're unpacking the car and putting the frozen stuff away. 

But that is our situation for the foreseeable future, and we'll deal with it. We are actually very, very thankful that we have that extra storage space, and I am not complaining. Just explaining. 

So the other night, I asked Hopper to run downstairs and get the last of the pizzas that were in the freezer. We'd gotten some when we'd gone shopping a few weeks ago, and there were 2 left, and they were going to be supper. We had just stocked up on a few more necessities the other day, so the freezer was full, so I asked Hopper to make sure she closed the freezer well. When she came upstairs, she said that she had, so I popped the pizzas in the oven and forgot about it. 

Yesterday morning, I went to the laundry room to start a load of clothes. I was in my stocking feet, which is abnormal, because I'm wearing shoes 95% of the time I'm awake. But certain shoes throw me a little bit off balance on the stairs, so I kicked them off before I headed down. And I'd barely stepped into the laundry room, when my foot was soaking wet. The freezer was defrosting all over the floor. 

:::le sigh:::

The freezer had been open since the night before, when Hopper got the pizzas out. I know I should have checked on it, but there are some nights that I just need a little break, and that night, those stairs seemed so incredibly long, and I took the easy way out. I needed a break right then. It's probably good I got it when I did, because I've been working on the freezer in my spare time since then!

I can't get mad at Hopper. She did the best she could, and she often says, "no" when she means yes, and vice versa. It's on me. And instead of beating myself up over it, I've decided to just be thankful that the freezer will be clean, and I'll be able to organize it and keep it clean, to prevent this from happening again.

I realized that Hopper had pulled one of the drawers out and then couldn't get it pushed back in all the way, which made the door hinges appear to have been sprung. And as handy as I thought it would be to have drawers in the freezer, they haven't been that great. Then again, we probably haven't implemented them in quite the way they were intended. We've used them to store the frozen goodies from the garden, and come to think of it, the freezer packs that Hubster used to use in his cooler for lunch were in there, as well. I think that they just weighed the drawers down to much to allow them to move freely. So once we stock up on groceries again, I'll make sure that nothing heavy goes in either drawer. 

I've already found a short box that I can stand the freezer packs in that is going to work perfectly to help keep things organized and still allow us to access them easily. 

Don't worry. It's on a shelf. 

I've learned my lesson.

When we go get the groceries to fill the freezer again, I'll have Hopper help me put them away. Hopefully, I can make it a learning opportunity and explain that she can't move things around or pull the drawers out, because we always need to make sure the door closes completely. If need be, we'll start locking it, so she can't get in and rearrange things. 

If all else fails, there is an alarm on the freezer, to let us know, if the door has been left open, but it has a major design flaw. . .

We have to remember to turn it on. 

It Was Nice Knowing You.

We've been through a lot these last 365, you and me. I hope you don't mind me moving on. It's not you. I promise.

I'm not complaining. At least I'm trying not to complain, but I really am ready for the new beginning that a new year promises. It gives me hope, and hope is what I need. 

I hope that things start to normalize for us a bit. 

I hope that the behavior therapists can help the girls and help us with the girls when they struggle with their emotions. 

I hope that we can figure out something that will help Hubster more with the Parkinson's, so he isn't so tired so much of the time.

I hope that we can figure out something to help the girls better with communication.

I hope that we can get a central air unit, so Hubster has a place to escape the heat this summer, since it kicked his butt last year.

I hope that I can make exercise a priority again.

I hope that I have the willpower not to drink that evil elixir that rhymes with Moctor Depper. 

I hope that now we have finished the clutter on the outside of the house, we can make headway on the clutter that is within. 

I hope that I can make it to my blog to post more often, because I find it therapeutic, and I miss it terribly. 

I hope that I can be silent, that I might hear His voice and abide in His love even more.

And I hope that each of you has a wonderful 2016!

Happy New Year!

Life Exploded Again.

I can't believe 2015 is over halfway finished, and this is my first blog post of the year. It isn't because I haven't been working on the hoard. I have. It has to do with life getting the better of me and knowing something had to go on the back burner, or I'd end up burning everything!

For the last several months, we've been working on the yard. The poor landscaper is still finding elm trees, in spite of having removed hundreds of thousands of them already. What? So what if there weren't actually hundreds of thousands of those stupid things? What if it just seemed like there were hundreds of thousands of the stupid things, because we hate them so much? I'm just so glad to be rid of every single one of them!

Our yard looks huge without the trees, and it's starting to take shape. The fence in the backyard was finally finished yesterday. They still have to paint the front fence, though. And I think we may actually be to the point where the sprinkler system, sod and stone will all be finished soon! It's going to be wonderful to spend time in our little backyard oasis, and it couldn't have come at a better time.

The last several months, Hubster has been struggling with his health. His hand began to tremor. Then his leg did. He'd stumble from time to time. He had to concentrate to walk, so he didn't appear drunk. He was exhausted all the time but couldn't sleep. And he was so weak, he said he felt at times his legs didn't have the strength to hold up the weight of his body.

We got official word yesterday that Hubster has early stage Parkinson's Disease.

Of course we are devastated, but we will handle this like we handle everything: as a team. We will meet it head-on, and we will fight it hard. He starts his first meds today, and we are praying they work well to help him feel more himself.

In the meantime, I will be trying to find time to blog again. Writing is therapeutic, and I'm thinking I may need a little therapy...