Wonderful Surreality

If anyone had asked me to imagine how much our lives would change as a result of becoming a CNA, I don't know that I could have done it justice. I know I knew that our lives would change. I just didn't know how different things would look.

I passed my state CNA exam without a problem back in October. I'd been pretty nervous leading up to it. I let nerves get the best of me and would mess up during practice sessions. I was a wreck! But the morning of the test I was able to have some quiet time with the Lord and relax a bit. I realized I had the stuff down, and I ended up being more nervous for the gal who tested with me than for myself. I had to laugh at how anticlimactic it was when I was finally done. I'd definitely worked it up to more in my mind than it actually was. I was just very thankful that I'd put in the time to practice, so I had no problem with the test.

I'd been hired a few days before my state exam, and that was a completely different reality for me! I hadn't even seen an employment application in decades, let alone actually filled one out! I went through a plethora of emotion during the process. It was like I was seeing the ocean again for the very first time...shock at the enormity of it all, stunned by the wonder, and in awe that it actually existed. And that was nothing compared to what was yet to come.

Hopper had her surgery the end of October, and it was indeed life-changing. Not only is she doing much better physically, but it has made such an incredible difference in her attitude, anxiety, and mood! We knew that a lot of her anxiety stemmed from having the surgery hanging over her head for the last 8 years, but we didn't realize how much of it came from that. She's like a different person. Well, not a different person, but a better version of her self. Like she was before she had this surgery hanging over her head. She's happier, more silly, loving to joke around, loving to laugh, and much more relaxed. It's like we have the Hopper we used to know back. It's been wonderful to see what a huge change this surgery has meant for her!

Scooter had her surgery a couple weeks ago. She's healing up much better than expected, and she is so glad to have it in the past. She's also thrilled with what it will mean for her future, so she's a happy little camper! She dances around the house all the time now, and it's wonderful to see! She's a bit bummed this morning, because Hopper finally got to go back to work today, and she has to wait until Monday, but I'm anxious to see her dance moves then!

Besides the surgeries, the thing that has had the biggest effect on our lives is my job. Because I get so many hours per week between the two girls, I'm making more than Hubster did. We knew that we no longer needed to rely on the extra cash that being on call provided, so we knew that a job change was coming. He put in his notice, so he'd be done when he came back from the vacation days he took for Hopper's surgery. Little did we know that they decided to just move the date up for his departure without telling him, so it was a bit of a surprise when he found out he didn't have to go back in for those last few days of work.

And I can't tell you how wonderful it's been to have him home! He's going to look for another job after the first of the year. It may be full-time. It might be part-time. But it will not involve call. At all. We've had too many holiday celebrations interrupted when his pager went off, and he'd have to leave. He put in his time. He was on call 5 to 7 days each week for the last 17.5 years. So it has been a dream to have him home so much, and we've really seen the positive difference it's made on the girls. On all of us, really. We're all much more relaxed. And happy. Definitely happy!

Once Scooter goes back to work next week, we'll both be working on dehoarding together. We'll work on the stuff on the back porch and in the garage and try to get it done as quickly as possible. Then what's left will be more manageable. I still have to finish the study, (the only room left on the main floor than needs done), and then I'll work in the basement and try to get it finished up.

We finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, and this time, it isn't a train!

We feel so incredibly blessed and we are beyond grateful. I thank God for His mercy!

May you each have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Motoring

Four and a half years ago when I started this blog, after watching my first episode of Hoaders, I remember looking for other hoarding blogs. I know I've written about it once or twice and how disappointing it was that they didn't keep up with their blogging. It made me think that perhaps they weren't successful with dehoarding their homes and getting their lives back together. Had they stopped blogging, because they had fallen off the wagon, so to speak, and were just embarrassed to come back and admit it? It saddened and concerned me. It made me wonder, if I'd ever be able to get it all done myself. 

It didn't dawn on me that perhaps blogging got to be too much for those who had started their journeys and that life won out. At least it didn't dawn on me until it happened to me.

The last several months have been full of, well, life. That, and my computer died on me. So I'm actually borrowing Bugster's computer for the day, so I could peruse the internet for awhile and drop by for a quick blog post.

Since Hubster had his gallbladder out back in March, our lives have been filled with all sorts of everything. 

Scooter's had some health issues that caused liver and spleen enlargement, (We never did find out the cause, but she's doing much better now.), she graduated from high school, and she's now going to her day program 5 days a week, and is thrilled she didn't have to start school last week with the rest of the students in the district! 

Hopper has done very well. A year ago, we took her in for a surgery consultation. The doctor was willing to do the surgery, but she wanted Hopper to lose some weight, so the insurance company would be more willing to approve the surgery. She's lost 29 pounds, (12 of which she'd gained in the previous year due to some medication she was taking), and the surgery is a go. We just barely got approval for it a few weeks ago, but we are beyond thrilled that she will be able to have this surgery! It will be life-changing for her. The downside of this is that her anxiety is quite high while she awaits the surgery scheduled for the end of October. 

I definitely added to her stress level. The last 2 weeks of July, I was in class for 8 hours a day to become a CNA. Hopper doesn't do well at all with change, so for me to not be home during the day was very difficult for her, in spite of the fact that I was always here with the girls in the evenings. The days were long, though. The girls' hours were extended at the day program for those 2 weeks, and it just took its toll. It was wonderful getting out of the house, being back in the school setting, and meeting people, but it was also exhausting. Still, I would do it all again in a heartbeat! 

Unfortunately, it's brought out the worst in my fibromyalgia. I've been in the worst flare I've had since I was diagnosed with it 6 years ago. It doesn't help that I ran out of some of the things that help when it gets out of control. Thankfully, they should be here tomorrow, so I will, hopefully, be fully functioning again soon. And thankfully, we haven't had any major wildfires this year, so my asthma is under much better control than it was a year ago. I'm still on a small amount of daily oral steroids, but I should be done with them shortly, so things are looking up.

I'm looking forward to taking my state test, so I can get my license and be hired on to be the girls official caretaker. It will be really odd to have an income for the first time in our 28 year marriage. It's not that I wasn't allowed to work outside the home. Hubster's not like that. I'm not, either. If he had said that he didn't allow me to work outside the home, my first stop would have been to flood the market with job applications. But I can't think of a single job where I'd have been able to call in and say, "Yeah. I need the next 3 weeks off... Hopper and Scooter have another cold." So this will be a life-changing thing for our family, and I'm looking forward to the freedom it will allow us.

Now to answer my original question. Have I left my blog, because I'd fallen off the dehoarding wagon and was too embarrassed to admit it, or has life just been overly full?

I'd like to think it's mostly that life just got in the way. While the dehoarding has taken a backseat to life, it's still in the car, and we're still putting along.

That Took Stones.

So tired. It's been quite the week, but I am grateful beyond words. Hubster went in for gallbladder surgery on Thursday.  It was only supposed to have been a 45 minute surgery, but we'll get back to that in a sec.

This was Hubster's first surgery ever. And he was a bit nervous. He wasn't nervous about the pain. He wasn't nervous about how it would turn out. But he's a bit on the claustrophobic side after a near-drowning incident years ago, and the thought of being intubated was concerning him. He was afraid he'd wake up with the breathing tube down his throat and become violent, if he panicked.  He didn't want to hurt anyone.

Thankfully, the anesthesiologist assured him that he'd make sure Hubster was completely asleep before placing the tube and still asleep when he removed it. By the time he was headed back, Hubster was feeling good about the surgery and just ready to get it done. I felt much better about all of it myself and prepared myself to wait.

While The nurse was escorting me back to the waiting room, I confirmed that the surgery should last 45 minutes or so. She said it was, but if I wanted to get anything to eat or drink at the cafeteria, I should go now and probably be back in 20 to 25 minutes, so I didn't miss the doctor coming out to talk to me. So I ran to the bathroom and proceeded through the maze to the cafeteria in the hospital next door.

Of course, the cafeteria was closed, so I got a couple bucks out of my purse and grabbed a breakfast bar and some peanuts out of the vending machine. They were the only thing that had any potential nutritional value in them, but I needed something. I called his folks to let them know he'd gone in and headed back, stopping at a little book sale they were having at the hospital. I found a couple things for the girls, called Mom to let her know he'd gone in and went back to the waiting room.

A good 45 minutes had gone by while sitting there, and I still hadn't heard from the surgeon, so I asked the receptionist, if she could see, if I'd missed talking to the doctor. I figured I'd been gone for at least 25 minutes, so I thought I'd just missed the doc.  The receptionist came back and said that they'd gotten started late, (at 11:00), and that the surgeon said he'd be done in the next 15 minutes. I knew they hadn't started at 11:00, though, because I'd called his folks at 10:47, and that was after the restroom break, the long trek to the cafeteria, and playing with the vending machine. Clearly something wasn't right.

I sat there silently praying that he'd be alright and playing with my phone. A few minutes later, the surgeon made an appearance. He said that Hubster was doing well. He'd just talked to him, even, but his gallbladder was, and he thought for a moment to come up with the least offensive way to put it, "rotten. Just plain rotten", as he shook his head at the memory. He didn't go into much detail other than that. Told me I could see Hubster in an hour or 2, so if I needed to go anywhere, now would be the time. So I called his parents and Mom with an update and hung out until they came and got me. It's funny. That wait didn't seem nearly as long as the wait for the surgery was, yet it was half again as long. Funny how time works that way.

Thankfully, Hubster looked great when I saw him. He was very relieved the surgery was over and especially relieved he didn't have to have the big surgery instead of the laparoscopic surgery he ended up with. Apparently, his gallbladder was "very diseased", and the surgeon was struggling to get it all out. He'd actually had the nurse call the hospital to tell them to expect Hubster to be admitted.  That he was going to have to open him all the way up.  But thankfully, right after he'd had the nurse make the call, he was able to finagle the rest of the gallbladder loose.

The doc said that as diseased as his gallbladder was, Hubster had been having problems with it for years and just didn't realize it. Sounds like things could have gone badly for him, if he hadn't gotten it out when he did. I'm anxious for him to feel better. To feel what life without gut aches and pain feels like.

For life without his rolling stones.