Compulsive hoarding is a mental disorder that is just beginning to be understood. As a hoarder, I have acquired things over the years with a specific purpose in mind at the time of the acquisition, used some of those items for their intended purposes, forgotten the goal for different objects, but now that I find that they have outlived their purpose in my life I am struggling to rid myself of those same things.
You can read the start of my journey here.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
My skewed perception of things.
During a conversation the other day, a friend asked me how much I'd gotten done in my dehoarding process. When I started listing everything, she gently interrupted me to clarify. What did I have left to do to finish dehaording the house?
Upstairs, (which is really just the main level and not actually up), I still have the porch and garage, as well as the study. I guess I should add the storage shed in there, too, but I did dehoard it fairly well last Spring. I just want to go through it again and purge it of the things I know we will no longer use. Downstairs, the boxes of books need to be unpacked and put away in the workout/book room, and the big room that will be part craft area/part family room still needs done.
She asked me what it felt like to have so little left to do overall. I was a bit stunned. Not because of what she asked, but at my reaction to her query. I was dismayed at all that I could see that still needed done. It didn't help that it felt as though I haven't gotten a thing done since Mom left last April. Granted, I have had a lot going on. The wedding. The hospitalizations. The guardianship. But I felt like I failed, because I just haven't acomplished a single thing for months.
I chewed on our conversation for a few hours. I just couldn't get it out of my head. Then a thought popped into my mind. I remembered the 40 boxes of paperwork that I worked so hard to sort in October and the first part of November. It was such a relief to know that I had actually accomplished something monumental in the last several months. Granted, I still have a monumental climb in front of me, but at least I'm starting from over halfway up the mountain this time. I'm not at the bottom looking all the way up.
I thought about a lot of things during and after our conversation. I was a little surprised to realize that aside from the study and the remodeling that needs to be completed in the bathrooms that I have successfully dehoarded the main level of the house. Granted. There's light cleaning and dusting that needs to be done, but maintenance is to be expected. It took me a bit of guard when it dawned on me that none of the rooms I've already dehoarded need more than a picking up and a thorough dusting. None of the upstairs rooms should take more than a couple or 3 hours to be thoroughly cleaned and ready for the holidays.
Now, if I could just stop procrastinating the whole getting started thing, I'd be in good shape.