Bugster's Cameo

Mom and dad are on their way to their semi-annual date night, so mom asked me to be her "guest blogger."

As you may know, I also have the hoarding gene. Thank goodness, since my new husband and I have lived in our new home, the tendency has yet to rear its ugly head. This is a result of diligence and a strict "it-doesn't-come-home-with-us-if-I-have-no-intention-of-using-it" policy. But it was not always this way.

Shortly after my husband and I met (and by shortly, I mean a few months) he was deemed trustworthy enough to enter our house, (which embarrassed me enough) and significantly more mortifying, my room. He was never judgmental and always polite, though I knew he didn't really like the waist-high mess in my room. I was 18 at the time.

Fast-forward a year or two. "Bubster" and I were considering marriage (for the first time, lol) and he expressed a concern that the as yet unnamed hoarding would enter our adult lives and settle in, resulting in a problem similar to my mom's. Again, he was never judgmental, he just didn't want it to be a part of our lives, and who can blame him? I didn't want it to be a part of my life any more than my mom or my dad or anyone for that matter.

This, I think, was when the "anti-hoarding" seed was planted. It terrified me to think that, 20 years down the road, I would be facing the consequences of my inability to get rid of or say "no" to things. This was made worse by the fact that it bothered "Bubster" so much. So I made a concerted effort, when I moved into my first apartment at age 21, to pare down all the junk, and be extremely discerning when adding new things. I wanted him to realize I could have a tidy house, without all the junk.

The reason I decided to post about this particular topic during my cameo on "Confessions of a Closet Hoarder" is that today, after a session of frenzied cleaning, my husband asked me why I was grumpy. I replied, "Because there are three people living in this house and I am the only one cleaning it. I can't do it all myself, and you were the one who was worried we would have a messy house someday." Now, don't get me wrong, I love that man more than anything in the world, and I know what I am experiencing is completely normal. Men don't like to clean house. But there's a slight difference. There are actually four of us living there: Bugster, Bubster, Frank, and Hoarding.

This afternoon, Bubster told me to sit down and relax while he did the dishes. This little gesture may seem insignificant but it kept me from just giving up and letting the boys suffer with dirty dishes and a messy house. And I appreciated that oh so much. <3

The point is, it is vitally important to have not only the support of your spouse and family, but also to have their active participation. I'm sure Mom will agree that she needs my dad's participation and support as much as I need Bubster's. Participation isn't always there in spades, however, so on mom's behalf and my own, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your supportive comments (which she has shared with me often), because they have filled in the gaps, and inspired me to keep it up.


~Bugster
ladybugsterextraordinaire.blogspot.com

Rubber Ducky You're The One!

Several years ago, when one of the local stores still had layaway, I decided to get organized. They had a tremendous sale on 18 gallon totes. You know the kind. For storage. Because when you have a lot of stuff, you need to be able to store said crap...er...stuff. Anyway, these totes were something like $3.50 each. I'd never seen them so affordable. The cheapest they'd been to this point was $5 each, so we stocked up. We got some to use right then, and we put a load of them on layaway. I can't remember the exact number we got, but I want to say it was close to 50. They didn't have enough in stock at the store, of course, so we got a raincheck on them, so we'd get the sale price and promptly stuck them on layaway when they came in.

They were great for storing holiday decorations. I didn't have to worry about boxes crumbling and falling apart. They stack so nicely, that I didn't have to worry about an avalanche when I was getting the Christmas decorations every year. They were just...handy. So I used them to pack the baby clothes I was keeping for the girls and for my maternity clothes. You know....just in case. They came in handy for storing all sorts of things. But I think they maybe hid part of my hoarding problem from me. With them being stacked so neatly, I could forget that there were things in the tubs I really didn't need.

Fast forward to yesterday when Frank was here. Not only did he cut down a huge number of trees, but he lugged tubs for me to go through, too. I am so grateful for his help, because I'd never have gotten as much done as I did, if he hadn't been there to do the heavy lifting for me. All told, I was able to go through 5 of the 18 gallon totes and 1 1/2 that are at least 3 times the size and have hinged lids.

I emptied 4 of the smaller tubs and 1 of the larger ones completely. And parts of it were really hard. I went through my maternity clothes, some baby clothes, clothes that used to fit me when I was several pounds lighter than I am now, shoes, and toys. I filled a trash can with stuff I tossed. I filled another bag with shoes to go up on Craigslist. I filled a huge black trash bag with maternity clothes and baby clothes and toddler clothes that will also go up on Craigslist. I would drop them off at a thrift store, but they have a musty smell from being in storage so many years, and I don't have time to wash them. If I put them up on Craigslist, I'll explain that, and if someone still wants then, they'll come and get them.

There were some things I wasn't able to get rid of. At least not now. Maybe never. Remember I said I sorted through 5 tubs, but I only emptied 4. The fifth one holds those things that I'm not ready to part with just yet. The lid doesn't quite close on it, but I couldn't bring myself to put it in 2 tubs. I am hoping everything will all fit, if I repack it, because I just sort of threw it in there as I was sorting. I'm afraid, if I start a second tub that I'll look for things to fill it up. I know I have plenty to fill a second one, and I eventually will. For now, I want to savor the fact that we have empty tubs.

Wonder how long we can keep them that way.

Elm trees and apologies.

I try to only turn my computer on in the evenings, or I can easily get stuck on it all day long, and then I don't get anything done. But I do have my phone set to receive emails, so I am able to read the comments from my blog on my phone shortly after they're posted. So I have the chance to read each and every comment, and I do. However, by the time I get the computer turned on at night to sit and write my post, I either forget about responding to the comments, or I'm so tired I can't seem to stay awake long enough to make any sense in my reply

So I wanted to apologize for being so lax with this. I'll try and do better. I do want you to know that I appreciate the support you all have shown me by reading my blog and leaving the comments. They spur me on to continue in the direction I'm going and to fight the good fight. They help me more than you could possibly know, and I'm very grateful for your kind words and support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now...back to your regularly scheduled program...

Frank came over today and helped out. He cut down some elm trees. Some were probably 15' tall, but I don't think any were more than a couple inches in diameter. Have I mentioned before that I really can't stand the things? If I haven't before, let me now. I can't stand elm trees! Ok. So they're beautiful, if they haven't been struck with Dutch Elm Disease. No doubt about it. They provide plenty of shade, homes for birds and squirrels, and they look good.

However, they shoot up all over the place. By the time you see a sapling of only 10" or so, the roots are as much as 2' deep, so they're almost impossible to pull out. And in the older neighborhood in which we live, elm trees were planted as hedges around the edges of yards, so we're constantly getting new seedlings in the front and back yards as well as in the gutters of the house. Thankfully, they always die out quickly in the gutters, but it's still a pain that they're there in the first place.

We've had all of the elms cut down in our yard a couple of different times over the years we've lived here. However, thanks to all the neighbors' elms, we're never in short supply of new elm saplings. And those saplings grow quickly! We've had some that have grown 6' to 10' a year. Which is great, if you live in a rural area where you're in need of trees for a windbreak or for shade. To have hundreds of these elms growing in one yard in a suburban area? Not so good.

Hubster finally found something to put on them that will kill them, and he's used it with some success this year. Every tree he cut down and painted with the stuff has died, except one. You'd never know it though, because there have been several new trees that have already grown to replace them. It's a never-ending frustration for us. We're hoping that we can get them under control soon, though. Maybe, if we can paint all of the trees with the "elmicide" any new ones will be scared by the death they see all around and will decide to try and grow in someone else's yard.

Anyway, Frank cut almost all of the trees that were at our other neighbor's fence line down. I can now use all 4 lines on my clothesline, instead of only being able to use the first one. It will be a huge help, as I have tons of laundry to get done as soon as possible. I am ever so grateful for Frank's help today.

Right now, though, I'm so sleepy that I know I'm starting ramble. So I'll post tomorrow about the tubs I went through today.

Let's just say I'm pleased.

And goodnight. :)