How dost thou tempt me, oh Spring!

The battle with caffeine withdrawal has gone pretty smoothly. I was able to stave off the excruciating headaches until almost a week after giving up the evil that is caffeinated soda, so I don't think these headaches have anything at all to do with withdrawal. I just think I have whatever Hubster has that is making him miserable. A bad head cold.

I'll live.

Granted, it will be with the aid of meds that can help with the headache, but I will live.

I'm still trying to plug away and get things done in spite of how I feel. I have more success some days than others, but that's nothing new. I do feel good at having gotten some more deep cleaning done. I moved the stove and refrigerator out and cleaned underneath them. There was something really sticky under the edges of the appliances that seeped further under the refrigerator than the stove. My guess is that Hopper spilled something when she was attempting to fill a glass. Considering the stickiness of the spill, I'm assuming it was rootbeer. As dirty as it gets under appliances that get cleaned under every 6 to 9 months or so, I can't imagine what they'd look like, if I'd have waited any longer. Yuck.

This weather is making it doubly hard to be sick. It's so nice outside that I am dying to get out there and do some gardening. I've got some major cabin fever. I want to get my hands in the dirt. I want to turn the soil and plant the seeds. The fact that the apple and pear trees have just finished blooming and the strawberries are doing so well that every single plant has blossoms on it makes it so much harder! I am so tempted to go out and plant my garden already, but I know it would be a mistake. It's still too early to plant, in spite of the current gorgeous weather.

This is Colorado, after all. I know that the moment I took the plunge and got my hands dirty in garden soil, I would regret it. We would get a monumental frost, and I'd lose all the effort that I'd put into the garden in an instant. I'm doing my best to fight that primal urge that Spring brings every year.

I will not be able to resist temptation much longer. Thankfully, I shouldn't have to. It's usually safe to plant Mother's Day weekend. Only 3 weeks to go. Not that I'm counting or anything.

I just hope I can hold out that long...

I wish I'd learn to listen to myself.

Over the years I've really struggled with drinking caffeinated pop. A lot. Daily. As in a 2-liter bottle every single day. A few years ago, I stopped drinking it, and I stayed away from it for 3.5 years. Then I started drinking it again, because the caffeine helped with my asthma. I eventually stopped again, because the caffeine was bothering the neuropathy associated with the fibromyalgia. It felt like I was being used as a pin cushion from the inside out, and it just wasn't worth the pain. 


I'd been off it for right at a year again when Hopper broke her leg last summer and ended up in the hospital for 10 days following surgery. I felt like I couldn't keep up with the physical demands of going back and forth from home to the hospital every day, because I was ready to drop from exhaustion. It at least gave me the energy to make it through each day. 


But then life sort of exploded, and I figured I'd just stop drinking the 2 to 4 cans of soda I was drinking each day when things settled down. Except that they didn't really settle down. In fact, they got worse, and I started struggling with anxiety like I've never experienced before.


I started anxiety meds several months ago, and although they're helping me, I'm needing another dosage increase. It's getting rather frustrating. I don't know, if the caffeine is adding to the anxiety or not, but I'm giving it up again, anyway. 


I'm on day 3 of withdrawal. 


Again. 


For the umpteenthed, and hopefully final, time in my life.

Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?

Mom went in for a procedure today on her heart. It absolutely killed me, because I couldn't make it up to be there, and I've been a nervous wreck all day. Thankfully, the procedure worked so well that Mom is doing amazing tonight, and there is much relief and much rejoicing. 


But today has been rough on me. Heck, the last several weeks have been rough, but the last 2 days has been particularly difficult. Unfortunately, my regular anxiety medicine hasn't been enough to deal with all that is going on internally, and I've had to resort to taking Xanax from time to time. I could probably take a whole one and just be done with the anxiety for awhile, but they tend to knock me out pretty well, so I only take a half. I need to be completely aware of all that is going on with Hopper and Scooter, and if a half a tablet takes a bit of the edge off but keeps me awake and aware, I'll stick with that. 


Anyway, I was texting back and forth with Bugster about how Mom was doing when I decided to check out the microphone function on the text messaging. I said, " I really like this. Right now I am writing a text by talking it." into the phone. It came out like this, "I really like this but right now I am writing a text by talking with it." I figured it was pretty close, so I left it alone.


Bugster asked me, if I was playing with it, because I was lonely. I said, "No. I'm just waiting for the Xanax to kick in."


The phone, in all it's infinite wisdom came up with, "No. I'm just waiting for the Xanax chicken."


I'm thinking that the Xanax Chicken must be related to the Easter Bunny on some level. 


I believe!